Cheaper By The Dozen (2022) is an unnecessary remake that doesn’t add anything new or interesting.

A man and his wife navigate a hectic home life while trying to raise 10 children and manage the family business.

Cheaper By The Dozen (2022) is a prime example of a remake that did not need to happen, the best thing I can say about this movie is the acting isn’t as bad as you would expect. Sure nobody gives a performance that I would call great but this does lead to some charming moments that at least give the movie some heart in it. Outside of that however the rest of the movie is basically a bad Disney channel original movie disguised as a Disney+ Original, it feels very much like a sitcom which isn’t necessarily always a bad thing but in this case it goes for one that’s just not funny at all. Which leads into the biggest problem with this movie…the writing and jokes, think of any bad family movie from the early 2000s and then think about the humor that were in those movies. That’s the type of humor Cheaper By The Dozen consists of, which quickly grows both tired and incredibly annoying. If I had to compare this to another recent Disney+ Original it would have to be last year’s Home Sweet Home Alone another pointless reimagining/reboot/remake/I have no idea. Only that one was far far worse, but both movies share this type of feel that Disney looked around the library and randomly two movies to give the Disney+ treatment. I really don’t have much else to say Cheaper By The Dozen (2022) is very bare bones and does nothing interesting I’m not going to pretend like the 2003 movie was a masterpiece but at least it was entertaining, this one not so much.

Cheaper By The Dozen is available on Disney+

3/10 D-

SXSW Review: The Unknown Country (2022)

A young woman grieving for past losses receives an unexpected invitation, leading her onto a solitary road trip across the American Midwest.

The Unknown Country is quite an interesting piece about a woman grieving who drives around the country and interacts with many different people. Right off the bat I absolutely loved the documentary/narrative hybrid, it works so well here and really captures the raw emotions of every person in the film. There’s a lot of moments that feel very Chloe Zhao like with a mix of Terrance Malick especially when it comes to the cinematography, there’s so many human moments as well it’s almost like you are going on a trip with Lily Gladstone as she takes around the Midwest of the country. There’s so many beautiful landscape shots that really compliment this film well, they add so much to the narrative being told and the documentary like style itself, plus the film pretty much shows the daily lives of the people shown in the film. It’s a very human film that really gives you all sorts of emotions, overall The Unknown Country is a fantastic film that was one of my favorites from SXSW definitely check this one out once it releases.

The Unknown Country currently has no release date!

8/10 B+

SXSW Review: Seriously Red (2022)

A realtor pursues a new career as a Dolly Parton impersonator.

Seriously Red is a blast of a film, there’s so much to the film that creates such a humorous picture. The cast are absolutely incredible Rose Byrne as an Elvis Impersonator and Krew Boylan as an Dolly Parton impersonator in particular are very strong here, they both do such a fantastic job and really nail the impersonations in both a beautiful and hilarious way. The music is top notch it’s a huge celebration of several different music artists and really captures why people love them so much, Gracie Otto’s direction is brilliant she really did a fantastic job of creating the most musical like atmosphere you can think of. What truly makes this great is how much fun the movie is and how much fun it has with itself, it knows what it’s sent out to do and accomplishes just that beautifully. There’s a few jokes that don’t completely land but the positives definitely outweigh the negatives in this case! If you are fan of any of music in general this is something you might like!

Seriously Red currently has no release date.

8/10 B+

SXSW Review: Under The Influence (2022)

When Casey Neistat first sat down to interview YouTube sensation, David Dobrik, neither of them knew they were about to capture one of the most precipitous rise and falls in the history of the internet… in real-time. David, protected by the belief that he’s just a kid with a camera, has constantly assumed risks. Even as a story of a sexual assault breaks, he’s busy covering up a near-lethal accident caught on film, intended to be entertainment. In the real world, these kinds of actions have life-changing consequences, but in the gold rush ecosystem of Social Media influence, the audience decides who succeeds, and who gets banished forever. 

I heard about a David Dobrik documentary being made but I assumed that it was going to be slapped on to YouTube and that would be the end of it. So I was surprised to see it at SXSW and decided to watch it out of pure curiosity, this is pretty much the story of David Dobrik and the controversies that happened particularly what happened to Jeff Wittek and the situation involving Durte Dom. If you were going into the documentary hoping for new information you aren’t going to get any here, if you know everything that happened nothing in this documentary is going to be new maybe except a few reactions from a few people. The most interesting thing about this documentary is how the public who has no idea about this situation is going to react, will the discussion of why Dobrik walked away with his career still intact be discussed again? Will this lead to more people speaking up and coming forward? As far as filmmaking goes it’s fine, there’s really nothing noteworthy about it outside of a few shots that are pretty neat. I do think there’s a conversation to be had about how your own platform can turn you into a completely different person in a negative way, which is definitely the strongest part about the documentary. But everything else is either common knowledge or nothing very interesting, overall Under The Influence is a documentary that will be good for people who have no idea about David Dobrik not so much for people who are well knowledgeable about the subject.

Under The Influence currently has no release date.

4/10 D+

SXSW Review: Women Do Cry (2022)

A promising musician named Sonja learns that she’s contracted HIV. After she drops out of the music conservatory, Sonja is helped out by her practical sister Lora, who supports the family by working as a crane operator, and their hapless mom Ana.

Women Do Cry is a tough one, on one hand it does a decent job of presenting some very heavy subjects and has a fantastic performance from Maria Bakalova, there’s some really touching and powerful moments about gender as well. The problems come in with execution, as I said earlier the movie does a decent job of presenting the heavy subjects to the audience but the execution is very debatable. Plus when you put in so many subplots that have no reason to be there, it gets in the way of the story being told. Which is a huge shame because if you took away the several subplots and fixed up the execution I definitely think this would be a pretty strong movie. Not much else to say here, it’s decent enough but not something to ever look back to.

Women Do Cry currently has no release date.

6/10 C+

SXSW Review: The Cellar (2022)

A woman must confront an ancient and powerful entity after her daughter mysteriously vanishes in the cellar of their new home.

The Cellar was definitely one of my most anticipated films for SXSW and this was very disappointing, the third act is by far the best part about this film since it lets all hell break loose and goes completely bonkers. What kills this movie is everything else before that, The Cellar takes way too long to get it’s ideas fully realized, there’s a lot of cliche haunted house parts in the movie that do a very sloppy job when it comes to build up. However the movie slowly becomes something far different from when it started which leads to the final act, but by this point it’s too little too late and the movie is almost over, sure it results in some very fun scenes that are a complete blast. However it makes you wish that the rest of the movie was like that, had they introduce these ideas in the second act I definitely think this would have been a very creepy movie that would go on to be sort of a hidden gem. Overall The Cellar is a huge missed opportunity that could have been something truly special had the writing improved.

The Cellar releases on Shudder April 15th

3/10 D-

SXSW Review: Master (2022)

Three women strive to find their place at a prestigious New England university that may disguise something sinister.

Master was a film I was going to see at Sundance but didn’t quite work out due to scheduling conflicts, so I was glad to see that it was being shown at SXSW. Master is a very well put together movie that is very haunting mostly due to the use of real life horror, Regina Hall is fantastic in her role and gives so far one of my favorite performances of the year, Zoe Renee also does quite a solid job as well. The atmosphere is very well done and definitely uses the location in this case a college to it’s advantage, Master could have went without the supernatural horror elements as those were far weaker than the real life horror elements. The supernatural elements while definitely not bad do feel a bit out of place, they do hurt the movie during the second act but get progressively better as the movie goes on. Mariama Diallo does a fantastic job in the director’s chair, she really knows how to create an atmosphere that’s genuinely haunting and captures a sense of loneliness as well. Which is something a lot of directors can’t say they do. Overall Master is an incredibly solid film that does have it’s hiccups but still ends up being a thrilling experience.

Master releases March 18th on Amazon Prime Video!

7/10 B

SXSW Review: Bitch Ass (2022)

A gang initiation goes wrong when a group of four recruits break into a house of horror, as they’re all forced to play deadly games for their lives. Win and you live – lose and you die.

Bitch Ass is hilarious in almost every single way possible, it’s low budget and has a lot of the quirks that make a very low budget film so entertaining. It starts out with Tony Todd telling you what you are about to watch which immediately calls back to Tales From The Hood, what follows is a very entertaining slasher film that knows it’s not anything great and just has fun with itself. The gore I have to say however is surprisingly not that bad, sure there was definitely room for improvement but for the budget they had it’s nowhere near as bad as you would think. Bitch Ass himself is a Jigsaw clone but Tunde Laleye makes it entertaining, in fact the same can be said with rest of the cast. While they all play very stock characters who don’t get much development it’s cast’s energy that makes it work and keeps the viewer entertained. With that said the aspect ratio is very strange and the movie does get a bit repetitive as it goes on, however Bitch Ass is an entertaining slasher movie that would definitely make a great midnight viewing while drinking with friends.

Bitch Ass currently has no release date!

6/10 C+

SXSW Review: Slash/Back (2022)

When Maika and her ragtag friends discover an alien invasion in their tiny arctic hamlet, it’s up to them to save the day. Utilizing their makeshift weapons and horror movie knowledge, the alien realizes you don’t mess with girls from Pang.

I really don’t have much to say about Slash/Back but the movie itself is a very straightforward Sci-Fi movie, a group of teenage girls fight aliens while protecting their home. The cast look like they had a blast making the movie which is always great to see, plus the performances are all pretty solid as well! The same can be said for the music, it’s genuinely fun and brings the film a lot of entertainment value to it. The film definitely reminds me of Attack The Block so if you liked that movie you are more than likely going to like this one. The biggest flaw is the movie not really doing anything noteworthy, however it really isn’t trying to do that. It’s the very definition of a Indie film where a small group came together and made a film plus worked with what they had. And for that the movie definitely deserves credit, it’s a decent enough time to recommend.

Slash/Back currently has no release date.

6/10 C+

SXSW Review: The Cow (2022)

When Kath and her boyfriend arrive at a remote cabin in the redwoods, they find a mysterious younger couple already there. Her boyfriend disappears with the young woman, and Kath becomes obsessed with finding an explanation.

It’s been two days since I watched The Cow and some of it I completely forgot about until I started writing this review, so that’s a bad start already. The Cow has an interesting premise that never gets fully realized, Winona Ryder gives a really strong performance and the same can be said for Brianne Tju, the atmosphere is definitely there as well. There’s some genuinely suspenseful moments that really capture a thrilling experience that I wish the rest of the movie had. I’ve noticed with some of SXSW’s films this year there’s a lot of them that have no idea what genre they want to be, so they just throw in random elements from other genres and hope they stick. That’s the case with The Cow, the first act plays out like a drama but then quickly becomes a thriller that gets very ridiculous at the third act. It’s a fine enough setup to a very lousy result that could have honestly been disturbing if the writing and the atmosphere were a lot stronger, what definitely breaks this movie is the dialogue. There’s moments where it’s so bad it takes you out of the movie, when you are trying to build a suspenseful movie that’s the very last thing you want. Overall The Cow is a missed opportunity, there was definitely an attempt to try and make this work but so many flaws are holding this one back unfortunately.

The Cow currently has no release date.

4/10 D+