
Rosebush Pruning is somehow even more underwhelming than Karim Aïnouz’s previous English language effort Firebrand (2023). I admire the strangeness of Rosebush Pruning but a majority of it does not come together at the slightest. The movie is definitely trying to go for this Luca Guadagnino, Yorgos Lanthimos and Saltburn (2023) feel but completely misses the mark.
The only major positives I can really give this movie is Elle Fanning who does what she can with a very confused script, this is nowhere near one of her best performances. But Fanning does have this natural screen presence that is able to pull out a solid performance no matter the circumstance. The cinematography from cinematographer Héléne Louvart is also quite fantastic and showcases some gorgeous shots of Spain, as far as how the film looks it’s gorgeous.
The same can not be said for the rest of the movie, the character writing is incredibly absent and the satire aspect of the movie is incredibly overworked to the point where it starts affect the dramatic weight of it all. This is yet another “eat the rich” type of story and while the ideas are there it just offers nothing new at all, I do want to say that this movie at some points goes into this realm of “it’s so bad it’s funny” territory. Some of the moments the movie uses to provoke or shock the viewer ends up with the viewer saying “wtf” and giving this slight laugh.
Overall, I still honestly have no idea what to make of Rosebush Pruning and that’s mainly due to just how much of a mess the whole movie is. Outside of Elle Fanning (the other performances aren’t bad here just not very memorable) and the cinematography, the experience feels very underwhelming. The shocking moments do make for somewhat of a funny “well that just happened” sort of thing in the moment, but once the movie ends you start to ask yourself why any of this happened and what does it contribute.
Rosebush Pruning is available on all VOD platforms.
4/10 D+

The Dog Stars is a very unfortunate case of where the writing completely sinks the entire movie, Ridley Scott’s direction is also nowhere near as strong as it usually is here, combining these two results in a very dull experience that feels way longer than it really is.
The performances here are not necessarily bad just very underwhelming, Jacob Elordi is trying his hardest but the script gives very little development for his character. It’s especially clear as the movie goes on that we only ever get glimpses of character writing with none of it going any further. Margot Qualley is in the same boat, fine enough performance but just does not have the character writing to back it up. Josh Brolin and Guy Pearce have some fun moments.
It’s such a shame to because you can tell that the movie was aiming to be some sort of character-oriented movie and using the post-apocalyptic setting was the perfect match for this sort of thing. The writing is just not there at all, everything we are told is either very basic information or elements that are spoken about only for them to get immediately dropped a couple of scenes later. It’s a frustrating experience that really tears your hair out.
The cinematography from Erik Messerschmidt is at least atmospheric and does capture the post-apocalyptic feel of the movie, when it comes to really putting the viewer into this setting the movie does a solid job. There are some scenes towards the end that do unfortunately stray away from this setting, but for the most part it matches quite well.
Overall, there is just not a whole lot going on with The Dog Stars. It’s a very forgettable post-apocalyptic movie that has some great ideas but lacks the necessary firepower to really back the movie up, especially in the writing department.
The Dog Stars is available on all VOD platforms.
5/10 C

The live action Moana is one of those prime examples of why I do these lightning reviews, there is absolutely nothing to be said here that already has not been echoed 40+ times already.
Everything that the animated 2016 film did right, the live action movie does completely wrong. That is especially apparent when the world of Moana feels like the life of it all has been drained and replaced with terrible visuals, CGI and horrendous green-screen use that almost immediately takes the viewer directly out of the movie.
Dwayne Johnson’s wig in this movie is laughably bad to the point where you have to think “who looked at this and thought this was okay?” Johnson is also just nowhere near as charming here as he was in the animated film, whether it be because of his performance or the lack of chemistry he has with the rest of the cast.
Catherine Lag’aia really tries her best here as Moana, she undeniably has a great singing voice that is able to do justice to the songs. But that can only last for so long as the rest of the movie is nothing but a shot-for-shot remake of a movie that is only 10 years old and a terrible one at that.
Overall, there is just nothing going on here. The acting is fine enough but it’s so visually unappealing and is completely missing the spirit of the original animated film. If you already did not like the Disney live action remakes then this one isn’t going to change your mind (rightfully so.)
Moana is available on all VOD platforms
3/10 D-

If there is a contender for a movie that almost nobody talked about this year it would be The Uprising, the most interesting to come out of this movie is the whole thing where they briefly changed the movie’s title to Uprising: The Rise Of Robin Hood before switching it back to The Uprising.
The movie itself is a very forgettable historical action movie that does not have a whole lot going for it. Andrew Garfield, Jamie Bell and Cosmo Jarvis are some of the movies bright spots but even then that comes with a slight negative. Garfield’s character “The Ploughman” is incredibly one note figure of grief and rage, it is admittedly satisfying to see him go all out during the action scenes as a result of this rage. But when it comes to character writing? You won’t be getting much there. Historical figures like John Ball (played by Jamie Bell) and Wat Tyler (played by Cosmo Jarvis) are strangely sidelined, sure they do get some moments but the story is largely about The Ploughman.
The action scenes have this brutality to them that works well, they are well done and are actually one of the few things that even attempts to build this atmosphere that in turn brings the viewer in. It’s just such a shame that when a character is killed you don’t care enough to due to how paper thin these characters are.
The handheld camera that Paul Greengrass opted to go for here is quite baffling, I know it’s his signature style but it just does not work here at all in this kind of setting. It truly is a huge whiplash when you compare how decently done the action scenes are and then you see everything else.
Overall, The Uprising came and went and well it’s easy to see why. It’s forgettable and just does not have a whole lot going for it, even the theme of rebellion is done in this very surface level way and the movie itself prioritizes action over story.
The Uprising is available on all VOD platforms.
5/10 C

I am not going to pretend that Sunny Dancer is anything groundbreaking, but when you compare it to the last four movies I watched for this second set of Lightning round reviews it’s quite honestly a breath of fresh air.
Sunny Dancer is a charming coming of age story that has so much heart and passion poured in. You can easily tell by the performances especially Bella Ramsey who does such an excellent job here especially during the film’s final moments. The rest of the cast are just as great, Ruby Stokes, Daniel Quinn-Toye, Earl Cave, Jasmine Elcock, Conrad Khan and so on are all strong here and each contribute to the film to make this a much more grounded experience. Without these performances being as raw as they are I don’t think Sunny Dancer would have worked nearly as well.
The film’s final moments are quite sad, but there is this feel of healing. One particular moment of Jessica Gunning (who only has a few scenes but makes every minute count) and Bella Ramsey does such a beautiful job of sharing this with the viewer. The whole theme of living versus surviving is truly beautiful, it has this feel of living in the moment. Not every single moment is exactly deep, but the film does just enough for the viewer to really get the full picture.
Overall, Sunny Dancer might not be anything new and sure it is a bit predictable. But it’s such a charming and beautiful film that you can’t help but really appreciate it for what it is.
Sunny Dancer is available on all VOD platforms.
7/10 B












