White Men Can’t Jump (2023) is a pointless remake

Two ballers, opposites who are seemingly miles apart, find they might have more in common than they imagined possible.

Remember how earlier this month I talked about Cube (2021) being a very pointless remake that is barely different from the original? Well here’s another remake that follows from some of the exact same problems (only worse) White Men Can’t Jump is a remake of the 1992 film of the same name. Even if I’m not that huge on the original I still think it’s a solid movie that had a lot of great chemistry that was genuinely funny, Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson had fantastic chemistry that really felt natural so it would be very hard to try and capture that sort of chemistry again.

White Men Can’t Jump (2023) suffers from a lot of issues and a lot of them have to do with the script and the very lacking chemistry between Jack Harlow and Sinqua Walls, Harlow and Walls are definitely at least trying to make the bond between the two work. But unfortunately it doesn’t quite work outside of a few moments that are admittedly some of the best parts about the movie.

Their chemistry just doesn’t capture the same sort of magic that Snipes and Harrelson had in the original, as I said earlier the chemistry in the original felt natural while with this one is a lot more manufactured and really does not come together at all. As far as writing goes while it’s fine to try and not be an exact copy of the original, the changes in the script they went with are very questionable.

Having pop culture references such as Tiktok really doesn’t fit here at all and once again comes off as wanting someone who’s watching to point their finger and say “they said Tiktok” the script also wraps up like a Disney channel original movie, such as talking about very half baked morals that if you took them out wouldn’t change a thing.

Lastly there’s the trash talk which the original did have, but at least the original’s trash talk was executed in a somewhat raw way so the viewer could feel the impact. But here while the lines may seem harsh the viewer doesn’t feel anything due to it being executed so poorly, the power, confidence and intimidation is just not there at all to make these lines work at all.

Overall White Men Can’t Jump (2023) is yet another example of a remake that did not need to be made, the main question when the credits rolled in my head was “why was this made?” I know it’s a cliched question to ask with a lot of bad remakes, but I think it fits appropriately here considering that this is absolutely a remake that nobody asked for.

White Men Can’t Jump is available on Hulu.

2/10 F

Creed III is a film filled with tension.

Still dominating the boxing world, Adonis Creed is thriving in his career and family life. When Damian, a childhood friend and former boxing prodigy resurfaces after serving time in prison, he’s eager to prove that he deserves his shot in the ring. The face-off between former friends is more than just a fight. To settle the score, Adonis must put his future on the line to battle Damian — a fighter who has nothing to lose.

Creed III is the third film in the Creed series and ninth overall film in the Rocky series..and it’s one of the absolute best of the franchise!

Creed III has a very simple setup and does take a bit to get off the ground (not in a bad way) but it makes up for that with atmosphere that is very tense and gets the viewer hyped for the eventual fight scenes. The performances are all quite fantastic especially Michael B. Jordan who once again kills it with his performance as Adonis Creed and Jonathan Majors as Damian Anderson who is quite a fantastic villain as well as being very intimidating as well.

The tension that builds between Creed and Anderson is very thrilling and striking, it lasts throughout the film and eventually comes all together once the match begins. The match itself is thrilling and filled to the brim with this powerhouse strength that brings the viewer into the action, Michael B. Jordan wasn’t kidding when he said a lot of the action scenes were anime inspired. Because that is absolutely shown here (if you are a Dragon Ball fan such as myself there’s one in particular that you will instantly see), Michael B. Jordan is in the director’s chair this time around and his direction is absolutely phenomenal. Between the filming of the action scenes, the tense dialogue and the character’s development Jordan really does a phenomenal job of bringing the viewer into the film.

Creed III also combines what made the first two Creed films so incredible and turns it up into eleven, it magnifies the action and atmosphere to the point where they are both gigantic and hit every high note, the film itself wraps up wonderfully and has such an exciting ending as well!

Creed III is available on all VOD platforms.

9/10 A

Chang Can Dunk has a heart but is lacking in the script.

Chang, a 16-year-old Asian American high school student in band, bets the school basketball star that he can dunk by homecoming. But before he can rise up, he’ll have to reexamine everything he knows about himself, his friendships and his family.

Why does anyone care if Chang can or cannot dunk? Jokes aside I was definitely expecting the worst with Chang Can Dunk, in some ways it’s a bit better than I thought and in others well it’s exactly what I expected it to be.

The performances are fine enough, particularly Bloom Li who’s given a script that is on the level of a bad Disney Channel Original Movie. He does what he can with it and I definitely respect him for that, Dexter Darden is decently fun as well and I actually liked Zoe Renee despite her ultimately just being the love interest and that’s it. It’s definitely one of the better made Disney+ movies, it goes for this bigger in scale type of feel which I will admit is kind of surprising to see from this sort of movie.

Unfortunately just about everything else is either terrible or falls into the forgettable category, the writing as I said earlier is not that much different from a Disney Channel movie it’s just a bit more mature with it’s tone and that’s pretty much it, the movie is very predictable to the point where you can guess what is going to happen within the first 10 minutes. The movie attempts to go for a coming of age sort of feel which doesn’t work nearly as well as they thought it did, which again comes down to the writing.

We aren’t given a whole lot of character moments with any of the characters even with Chang himself, we are given very surface level information that a lot of these Disney+ movies tend to give and then the movie decides to move on to the next scene. Part of what makes a good coming of age movie is character development and character moments, where we learn about the character, how they feel, what their goals are, who they are as a person and much more.

I can definitely respect that Chang Can Dunk at the very least attempted to try and be a coming of age movie (something you really done often see in modern Disney movies) but it doesn’t do it well here unfortunately, I definitely think with a much more focused and better written script there could have been something really great here.

Chang Can Dunk is available on Disney+

4/10 D+

Home Team fails to score big.

Two years after NFL head coach Sean Payton is suspended, he goes back to his hometown and finds himself reconnecting with his 12-year-old son by coaching his Pop Warner football team.

You know those movies where after you watch them you feel absolutely nothing? That’s how I feel about Home Team, granted it’s not one of the absolute worst of Happy Madison Productions. However the real story behind Sean Payton and Bountygate is far more interesting than this movie, the movie focuses on Payton coaching his 12 year son’s football team after getting suspended from the NFL. So I feel this is a complete missed opportunity, what follows is terrible humor, terrible acting from pretty much everyone besides Kevin James who seems to just enjoy doing these roles at this point and surprisingly Taylor Lautner. I’m not saying he gave anything special at all but when you compare him to everyone else you notice a difference. There’s this one scene where they actually have CGI vomit which is definitely a choice. The movie’s main issue is the tone being for inconsistent, it wants to tell a sports drama type of story but immediately cracks so many unfunny jokes. There are a few heartfelt moments that actually work quite well, but a lot of the time your restricted to very unfunny jokes with terrible dialogue. Home Team is overall just a terrible sports comedy that really adds nothing new.

Home Team is available on Netflix

3/10 D-

Bruised is unfortunately not a knockout.

Jackie Justice, a disgraced MMA fighter who has failed at the one thing she’s ever been good at – fighting. When 6-year-old Manny, the son she walked out on years ago, returns to her doorstep, Jackie has to conquer her own demons.

Bruised is a film that I really wanted to like badly, because there is a lot to like about Bruised. Such as the action scenes especially the fight during the climax, they are captured in such a raw and powerful style where it actually feels like you are there in person watching the fight. Halle Berry also gives a fantastic performance, her performance is filled to the brim with emotions and strength which makes the performance all the more interesting and investing. The problems however stick out like a sore thumb, the film is unfortunately very formulaic if you have seen other wrestling films like Southpaw in the past you will have a pretty good idea of what’s going to end up happening in Bruised. I do want to say being formulaic isn’t always a terrible thing, it’s just a matter of doing something interesting and making sure the positives outweigh the negatives. Bruised however is not so lucky as there’s also the running time which feels much too long. There’s a lot that could have been cut or shortened to give the movie more of a focus, the writing is very stuffed it feels like the writers wanted to go with something meaningful at times and at other times it feels like they wanted to do something traditional with not much substance. The strongest moments are definitely during the last portion of the movie as it does have some admittedly powerful scenes that wrap up the movie nicely. Overall Bruised is very surface level, it has a great performance from Halle Berry but that isn’t enough to save Bruised from being very forgettable and disappointing.

Bruised is available on Netflix!

4/10 D+

King Richard is an inspiring film about making your vision a reality!

Armed with a clear vision and a brazen, 78-page plan, Richard Williams is determined to write his two daughters, Venus and Serena, into history. Training on tennis courts in Compton, Calif., Richard shapes the girls’ unyielding commitment and keen intuition. Together, the Williams family defies seemingly insurmountable odds and the prevailing expectations laid before them.

King Richard is a biopic of Serena Williams and Venus Williams father Richard Williams, it shows how determined Richard was to make his vision a reality wanting Serena and Venus to succeed. Will Smith does a fantastic job as Richard Williams, he captures his soul and his mannerisms as well. It’s easily the best performance Will Smith has done in quite awhile it really brings the type of performance that I and so many other people have wanted to see from in quite some time. Will Smith not only captures Richard’s mannerisms but he also captures how much Richard wanted his vision to come true, how much he really wanted to reach that goal. The rest of the cast were quite fantastic Jon Bernthal, Demi Singleton, Saniyya Sidney and Aunjanue Ellis all do a really strong job in their roles! The writing is much better than expected, there are some incredibly powerful moments (such as the kitchen scene) that really drag you into the mind of Richard Williams. It makes you understand how much it means to him, which makes the build up for the end all the more powerful. Overall King Richard can feel like a formulaic biopic at times however those moments aren’t enough to stop it from being a really interesting film that goes beyond from being just a biopic film. It’s a film that showcases how someone was determined to make their vision a reality and would never give up until it did come true!!

King Richard is in theaters and on HBO Max!

8/10 B+

Safety (2020)

The story of Ray-Ray McElrathbey, a freshman football player for Clemson University, who secretly raised his younger brother on campus after his home life became too unsteady.

Safety is another one of those inspirational stories that really don’t have anything new to bring to the table, the true story itself is very inspiring and I definitely recommend looking up the actual story. The movie however at times feels like a huge chore to sit through it’s 122 minutes long which it honestly did not need to be. Jay Reeves and the rest of the cast do a fine enough job given that the script they got was nothing really too special. A lot of the film just felt way too safe (no pun intended) it was your basic inspirational movie cliches that any viewer can easily recognize. There are some genuine heartfelt moments that do work pretty well, but those take a lot of patience to get to, with that said the movie definitely isn’t bad. It’s just a movie that I don’t think I’ll ever watch again, it’s one of those Disney+ movies that could have easily been a Disney channel original but they decided to put it on Disney+. If it sounds like your type of movie check it out, otherwise don’t rush to watch it.

6/10 C+