Amsterdam is a gigantic mess

Set in the ’30s, it follows three friends who witness a murder, become suspects themselves, and uncover one of the most outrageous plots in American history.

Amsterdam is one of those movies where I was just not looking forward to reviewing, the main reason why is because of how completely wasted this whole project really is. The film is based on a true story a the business plot of 1933, a political conspiracy that’s goal was to overthrow President Franklin D. Roosevelt. I’m not going to get into it here but I do recommend reading about the story itself as it is a quite interesting piece of forgotten history that a lot of people don’t talk about that much. The positives mostly come from Anya Taylor-Joy who easily steals every scene she’s in, she isn’t incredible in this movie which is mainly due to the horrendous direction but we will get to that. But she does a really solid job of working with what she’s given, Robert De Niro is pretty solid as well. Again like Anya he is not anything spectacular but he definitely tries his best. The rest of the movie however is when things go downhill fast, first off the three main leads Christian Bale, John David Washington and Margot Robbie absolutely have no chemistry between one another. The way the three are written really has the energy of a bad high school play, Bale tries to do this quick comedy routine which isn’t anywhere near funny. John David Washington is just sort of there and Margot Robbie is an interesting case. At times her performance isn’t too bad but then others it really comes off as robotic, I get they were trying to go for this Wes Anderson type style but it almost seems like a parody of someone who thinks they know Wes Anderson’s style. Everyone else in the movie ranges from bad or just having very little to do to even matter, what really kills this movie is the writing and the huge amount of plot points that are squished together. Which is a shame because the true story itself is truly interesting the movie was just done by the wrong director. The writing is very unfocused and moves along way too quickly yet sluggish, which leads to some atrocious editing decisions and very dull direction from David O. Russell who has no idea what he wants this to be, it’s advertised as a whodunnit but really comes off as a very poor attempt of telling an interesting piece of history. Every once and awhile you get a few decent shots but for the most part a lot of it is just dull, it’s not engaging to look at and there’s very little detail to the setting. It’s a shame because had this movie been in the right hands I genuinely think Amsterdam could have been a decent movie, but as it is the movie is painful to get through and something that nobody is going to remember within the next few months.

Amsterdam is currently in theaters.

3/10 D-

Spirit Halloween: The Movie…wasted potential the movie.

Locked inside a store on Halloween night, three middle school friends encounter an angry spirit that possesses creepy animatronic characters.

How do you take a concept such as a group of kids being trapped in A Spirit Of Halloween story and some of the decorations come to life and attack them so dull? Well apparently this movie has the answer to that, outside of a fun appearance from Christopher Lloyd and Rachel Leigh Cook there truly is nothing here that’s very memorable. They really do the bare minimum with the concept, sure there’s a few decorations that come to life but the main issue here is the writing and characters. The writing is just flat out unremarkable, there’s absolutely no substance to anything being shown on screen. The most the movie does with it’s writing is try to give a very surface level explanation of why everything is coming to life, the characters are incredibly one dimensional and are pretty much your typical kid friend group in these types of movies. Only where as other characters of those types are actually fun (such as the ones in the Goosebumps movies) these ones have absolutely nothing to them outside of their one character trait. The movie is clearly made for younger audiences in mind which is perfectly fine, however when it comes to gateway horror movies there is so much lacking here, it’s really a collection of kid horror movie cliches presented as an interesting idea. Overall Spirit Of Halloween: The Movie has a few moments of fun and decent performances from Cook and Lloyd but is overall very forgettable plus it wastes such an interesting concept that could have been a movie worth coming back to.

Spirit Halloween: The Movie is available on all VOD platforms.

2/10 F

Batman and Superman: Battle Of The Super Sons is a fun addition to the Tomorrowverse.

Jonathan Kent and reluctant young sidekick Damian Wayne are burdened with saving the world from impending doom. The two must join forces to rescue their fathers and save the planet by becoming the super heroes they were intended to be.

Batman and Superman: Battle Of The Super Sons is the sixth installment of the Tomorrowverse, this one is pretty straightforward, it focuses on the sons of Batman and Superman Johnathan Kent and Damian Wayne. As far as characters go this one does a fine enough job, the father and son bond of Clark and Johnathan is genuinely really sweet and makes for some corny yet genuinely funny humor. So at the very least the movie has heart, where it lacks is mostly an interesting villain and story wise. The villain is Starro the conqueror which I do like the concept of but it’s just another “people are brainwashed” type scenario. The voice cast are quite great as well, Laura Bailey and Jack Dylan Grazer being the standouts who add quite a lot to their characters. Story wise this is again very straightforward which isn’t necessarily bad it just does a lot what you expect it to, it plays out like how a Saturday morning action cartoon show would. However the team up of Damien and Johnathan is genuinely charming and a lot of fun, which by far makes this movie worth a watch.

Batman and Superman: Battle Of The Super Sons releases on VOD Platforms October 18th

6/10 C+

Quick Review: Reportage November.

A mysterious death of a mother and the disappearance of her child leads a group of freelance journalists to the outback of Sweden. The group of four, led by the famous journalist Linn Söderqvist, will make a reportage about the happening, and try to find something the police missed. Equipped with cameras and supplies to survive in the forest for days, they wander out in the woods to find the truth.

I’m all for international found footage horror films (one of my absolute favorites is REC) but this is definitely not a good one. It’s if you took the exact same ideas from The Blair Witch and made it uninteresting and terrible. There’s some mock interviews that attempt to try and connect the story to the footage but it’s such a uninspired mess that it completely takes you out of the movie. There’s some moments here that work as well as the cast doing an okay job, but that’s really about it and about as deep as it goes.

Reportage November releases tomorrow on all VOD platforms.

3/10 D-

Mona Lisa and The Blood Moon is an entertaining ride.

When a struggling single mother befriends a mysterious woman who has supernatural powers, she sees a lucrative opportunity to make some fast cash. However, their crime spree soon draws unwanted attention as the cops start to close in.

Mona Lisa and the Blood Moon is an interesting little movie, that while story wise it really isn’t anything special it makes up for it with a lot of other elements that go together quite nicely. The cinematography combined with the setting of New Orleans is truly a lot of fun and adds to the movie’s overall atmosphere, the performances are overall pretty solid particularly Jeon Jong-seo and Kate Hudson who have great chemistry and really steal every scene they are in together. Craig Robinson is also a fun addition as well, the direction from Ana Lily Amirpour (director of The Bad Batch and A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night) is really fantastic here, we get more character development than we usually would when it comes to films like this. There’s some character driven moments that are very investing and really drag the viewer into the film, Mona Lisa And The Blood Moon might be Amirpour’s weakest film mainly due to the story feeling a bit too recognizable, but it’s still a very entertaining movie that I do recommend giving a watch, it’s a solid introduction to her work.

Mona Lisa and the Blood Moon is available on all VOD platforms.

7/10 B

Jeepers Creepers Reborn…the worst of the series.

Chase and Laine head to the Horror Hound Festival, where Laine begins to experience unexplained premonitions and disturbing visions associated with the town’s past, and in particular, local legend the Creeper. As the festival gets underway and the blood-soaked entertainment builds to a frenzy, Laine believes that something unearthly has been summoned and that for the first time in 23 years, the Creeper is back.

From the opening scene this movie doesn’t even try to hide that it’s complete garbage, there is something truly ugly about the filming with this movie and the incredible lack of style this movie has. The movie only gets worse from here as there are horrible dialogue that rivals the dialogue from the third movie, horribly written characters that have no personality outside of their one character trait they are given. The acting is hands down the worst there’s been in the series, there’s attempts to try make their accents come off as southern but they often slip leading to British ones. The digital sets and visuals are somehow even worse than the third movie and that was on the Syfy channel, then you have the creeper himself who just looks really off in this one, there’s something about him that truly looks dreadful compared to the last movie. The sad thing here is there were moments of potential, the idea of the group of people bringing a sacrifice to the creeper is genuinely interesting idea that could have been explored. The movie does not even remotely explore it all, instead it sort of just drops it onto the viewer and expects the viewer to go along with it. Despite the movie being only 1 hour and 35 minutes it feels like an eternity, combine that with dreadfully done kills that have no sense of personality behind them and you got yourself an incredibly painful ride. Overall Jeepers Creepers Reborn manages to be even worse than third movie, when you really start to compare and contrast you can easily see how much worse the movie really is.

Jeepers Creepers Reborn is available on all VOD platforms.

Disgrace To Cinema F

Mr. Harrigan’s Phone a lackluster Stephen King adaption.

Craig, a young boy, befriends the elderly billionaire John Harrigan. Craig then gives him a mobile phone. However, when the man dies, Craig discovers that he can communicate with his friend from the grave.

Well at least Mr. Harrigan’s Phone has the brag rights of that it’s the better of the two Stephen King adaptions that came out in 2022 (other being Firestarter), but that doesn’t mean much when the movie itself is still not good. Outside of Jaeden Martell and Donald Sutherland who both give solid performances and do the best they can to work with a script that is very uninspired, the rest of the movie has the energy of a giant after school special that says “phones are bad”. I liked the idea of the ringtone being “Stand by Your Man” by Tammy Wynette and the first time it’s used it’s genuinely creepy. The problem is the movie uses it way too often and starts to become very tiring after the third time, the other biggest problem is the movie never really goes anywhere there are moments where it seems like the movie is going to talk about a certain character but quickly moves on without giving much information. Mr. Harrigan’s Phone isn’t the worst Stephen King adaption but it’s definitely one of the most unremarkable ones and quite forgettable ones as well.

Mr. Harrigan’s Phone is available on Netflix.

4/10 D+

Both Sides Of The Blade has great moments but is held back from being better.

A woman’s life spirals out of control when she becomes involved in a passionate love triangle.

Both Sides Of The Blade is one of the two films directed by Claire Denis from this year (in fact the second one Stars At Noon is releasing on Friday!) this movie is a tough nut to crack, while I understand what Claire Denis was going for with this movie. There are times such as the comedic moments that make you wonder why they are there, it takes you out of the movie while a lot of the moments of human feeling and the sensitivity bring you into it. The cinematography and the score are absolutely well done and really set the mood of the film quite well, Juliette Binoche and Vincent Landon give fantastic performances and have beautiful chemistry between one another. There’s so many raw moments between the two that really makes the film, the film does go on for a bit too long and as I said before the comedy really takes you out of a beautiful story. I’m sure there will be people who will get far more out of this one than I did, so I do recommend checking this one out to see if it does anything for you.

Both Sides Of The Blade is available on all VOD platforms.

6/10 C+

Bring it On: Cheer Or Die is a missed opportunity.

When members of a cheerleading squad disappear, the remaining few must unmask the assailant.

Bring it On: Cheer Or Die is the seventh installment in the Bring it On series, rather than being a teen comedy or drama it’s now a horror movie. I’m not that knowledgeable of the Bring It On series I’ve only ever seen the first one which was a decent movie from the early 2000s, from what I’ve heard the sequels are not good, especially some of the more recent ones. Cheer Or Die’s only resemblance to the Bring it On movies is that there’s cheerleaders, you could have called this just Cheer or Die and nobody would have guessed this was supposed to be part of the Bring It On series. The major problems with this movie mostly stem from the budget that really holds this movie back from having decent kills and the Lifetime channel plus Syfy channel feel to it is all over the place. This is a Syfy channel movie that is at least better than some of the endless amount of shark movies, but it’s nowhere near as entertaining. The kills aren’t great, the characters are very flat, the acting and writing are terrible and the movie desperately wants to be Slumber Party Massacre. But completely forgets what made Slumber Party Massacre so enjoyable, the kills and entertainment value were genuinely great in those movies. Outside of some terrible dialogue that got a few chuckles out of me, this is the definition of a slasher movie that really doesn’t take advantage of its fun ideas. Adding slasher elements to the Bring It On series had loads of potential and could have been hilariously bad, but this is just forgettable and not something worth your time.

Bring It On: Cheer Or Die is on the Syfy Channel and on all VOD platforms.

1/10 F

The Visitor is a cliched movie about a cult.

When Robert and his wife move to her childhood home, he discovers an old portrait in the attic of a man who looks just like him. He soon travels down a frightening rabbit hole as he tries to discover the true identity of his mysterious doppelgänger, only to realize that every family has its own terrifying secrets.

The newest of the Blumhouse and EPIX collaborations and the best compliment I can give The Visitor is that it’s one of the better ones (Rebel Hearts is still the only good one), the movie has a decent atmosphere that actually starts the story off decently well. The acting isn’t great but there has definitely been worse plus Finn Jones definitely tries his best as the lead, the major problem kicks in when the third act rolls around with it’s horrible twist. It turns a movie that had genuinely decent atmosphere that was a bit creepy into a forgettable movie about a cult, the movie doesn’t do a really good job of talking about the cult or why they were formed, who are they and what is their goal. This might be okay if you have never seen a movie about a cult before, but even then there are far better options out there.

The Visitor is available on all VOD platforms.

4/10 D+