Subservience (2024) Film Review!

When his wife becomes sick, a struggling father buys a lifelike AI android named Alice to help with the housework. Things seem fine until Alice suddenly becomes self-aware and wants everything its new family has to offer, including the affection of its owner

Subservience is directed by S.K. Dale director of Till Death (2021)

I actually quite liked S.K. Dale’s previous film Till Death (2021), sure it was very similar to Gerald’s Game but it was a lot of fun and Megan Fox did quite a solid job. So while Subservience did seem quite similar to M3GAN (2022) I was hoping that it would at least be entertaining and at some points it is! Just the overall package doesn’t deliver.

Megan Fox is pretty decent here, it’s definitely not one of those performances that I’ll ever come back to. But in the context of the movie it works, she plays Alice quite well and is actually kind of creepy at times. Michele Morrone is alright here, there’s definitely bumps in the road with his performance but I do think for the most part Morrone and Fox do a decent enough job to get through the movie.

As far as the rest of the movie goes it’s an incredible below average M3GAN (2022) clone, this is basically if you took M3GAN (2022) and added a darker side to it. Which while at some points the dark edge to this movie works, it ultimately starts to feel like something we have seen countless times before. Resulting in another “dangerous of Ai” or “the impact Ai will have on humans” story that’s been done so many times at this point and will probably continue long after this movie releases.

What made M3GAN work well was the tongue in cheek approach, Subservience on the other hand is trying to go for this erotic thriller type of tone that ultimately never really leads to anything of note. There’s definitely hints at it, but unfortunately the movie doesn’t commit to the tone and goes with a very traditional Ai story.

Overall there really isn’t much else to be said about Subservience it’s a fine enough watch but it’s definitely not something you would ever revisit again, unlike M3GAN (2022) I can’t see this movie going to be some sort of cult classic.

Subservience releases on all VOD Platforms September 13th!

5/10 C

Borderlands (2024) Film Review!

Returning to her home planet Pandora, an infamous bounty hunter forms an unexpected alliance with a ragtag team of misfits. Together, they battle alien monsters and dangerous bandits to uncover one of Pandora’s most explosive secrets.

Borderlands is directed by Eli Roth director of Cabin Fever (2002), Hostel (2005), Hostel: Part II (2007), The Green Inferno (2013), Knock Knock (2014), Death Wish (2018), The House With a Clock In its Walls (2018) and Thanksgiving (2023). Borderlands is based on the video game series of the same name.

Borderlands was never going to be something decent, the movie was in development hell for years, nobody seemed to want to do the project at all, writers left the project it was a gigantic mess that predictably ended up being a trainwreck. Especially when the trailer came out, that’s pretty much the point where the movie’s fate was sealed.

The best way I can describe Borderlands is if you took everything that people (myself included) loved about the Guardians Of The Galaxy movies and somehow made it terrible. It’s very clear Borderlands was going trying to do what GOTG did from the character types to some of the approach to humor. The problem is none of it adds up to anything and falls completely flat in every single category.

The acting quite terrible here, Cate Blanchett gives an incredibly bland performance. We get very little backstory to her character Lilith and what we do get ultimately gets lost in the movie, Kevin Hart and Florian Munteau are about the same as Blanchett they aren’t necessarily horrible but feel incredibly out of place (seriously why was Kevin Hart casted as Roland?) Jack Black, Jamie Lee Curtis and Ariana Greenblatt are the worst offenders here. Jack Black as Claptrap is incredibly harmful to the ears and delivers the worst jokes of the movie. Jamie Lee Curtis gives one of if not her worst performance of her career, this is the very definition of phoning in a performance because there was no passion at all here. Finally Ariana Greenblatt is mostly hurt due to the writing, you can tell she’s trying at times but when you have a line such as “I think some of it went into my mouth” (it being piss) you really can’t do much at all.

The writing is the main offender of why this movie immediately falls apart, there’s no development for any of these characters or any moment where the movie tries to make you care about them. It’s all stock character personalities that aren’t even expanded upon, the story is nothing interesting at all and has had similar plots been executed far better elsewhere. The main villain Atlas is forgettable and shows up during the third act of the movie, no build up, no interesting background information about him absolutely nothing. It really feels like they completely forgot to put him in the movie so they shoehorned him in at the very last minute.

What made GOTG so excellent and why it worked for many people is the characters, they got the proper development they needed, they were written incredibly well and there was genuine emotion put into them. Something that made them feel surprisingly realistic despite being in a superhero film. Borderlands fails to do any of that throughout it’s painful 101 minute running time, I’m not trying to say I expected masterful writing but at the very least try to make your audience care about what your putting on screen.

We have seen some recently strong video game adaptions such as Fallout or Sonic The Hedgehog so I do think Borderlands could have worked if it was a series, it needed far better writing, direction and a lot more time to craft it’s characters. Overall Borderlands takes the cake as the worst movie of the year so far.

Borderlands is available on all VOD platforms.

Disgrace To Cinema F

The Deliverance (2024) Film Review!

A family living in a home in Indiana discovers strange, demonic occurrences that convince them and the community that the house is a portal to hell.

The Deliverance is directed by Lee Daniels director of Shadowboxer (2005), Precious (2009), The Paperboy (2012), The Butler (2013) and The United States vs. Billie Holiday (2021).

The Deliverance is quite baffling not only because of just how horrendous it is but how big names such as Glenn Close and Andrea Day are attached to this. Granted the only positive thing I can say is the two are committed to their roles even if they have to say some out of the blue lines I’ve heard in awhile (some of it being unintentionally funny) at the very least there’s laughs along the way, but that most certainly does not justify everything else about this movie.

The rest of the cast are fine enough and at times better than the movie deserves, Caleb McLaughlin and Demi Singleton are genuinely decent here which is why it’s so frustrating when their acting is surrounded by a terrible script. One moment we get a crumb of character moments and the next we have some horribly done horror elements, as far as exorcism movies go this is about what you expect. Outside of some hilarious moments during the exorcism itself (Glenn Close sniffing the air and saying “I can smell your nappy pussy” is quite an experience to witness) it’s your usual bad exorcism elements that do nothing to standout.

The first half of the movie is a family drama while the rest of the movie is as I said before a terrible exorcism movie. Despite the movie being inspired by the Ammons haunting case I honestly couldn’t tell you what exactly was the point in all of this. Lee Daniels’s direction is all over the place and doesn’t bother to stick with a tone that invests the viewer, it’s incredibly messy and goes off the rails in the worst way possible.

The Deliverance is available on Netflix.

1/10 F

Skincare (2024) Film Review!

Famed aesthetician Hope Goldman is about to take her career to the next level by launching her very own skin care line. However, she soon faces a new challenge when a rival opens a boutique directly across from her store. Suspecting that someone is trying to sabotage her, she embarks on a quest to unravel the mystery of who’s trying to destroy her life.

Skincare is directed by Austin Peters which is his directorial debut.

Skincare is definitely an interesting one…at least during the first act, I do like the setup of a competing business opening next door and trying to smear Hope Goldman (played by Elizabeth Banks) it’s a simple yet interesting setup that unfortunately doesn’t follow through with anything effective.

Before I get to that I will say the performances are pretty solid, Elizabeth Banks is a lot of fun here and makes for a solid lead. Her performance isn’t anything extraordinary but it’s the type of performance that I love to see from her. Lewis Pullman and Michaela Jaé Rodriguez are both solid here as well!

As I said earlier the movie’s biggest problem is what comes after the first act, it starts to become a mess with way too many red herrings that really seem like they are only there just extend the runtime. More problems with some of the characters get introduced with none of them really having a satisfying conclusion, it’s much more of tacked on solutions rather than actually exploring.

There’s implied themes of satire but at that point when these themes start to become more noticeable the movie has way too much going on at once to really fully develop those themes. It’s a shame because I can see what the movie was going for and it was definitely on the right track a lot of it just doesn’t mesh well unfortunately.

Overall Skincare has its positives but it’s unfortunately pretty forgettable, I think this barely misses the mark of being something decent.

Skincare is available on all VOD platforms.

5/10 C

The Killer (2024) Film Review!

When a feared contract killer refuses to murder a young blind woman on the orders of her handler, she finds herself hunted by old colleagues and a determined detective.

The Killer is directed by John Woo who has previously directed The Killer (1989), Face/Off (1997), Run, Tiger, Run (1984), Silent Night (2023) and many others (there’s no way I’m listing every single film he’s done.) The Killer is a remake of Woo’s 1989 film of the same name!

It’s always interesting when a director decides to remake a film that they have previously directed, this happens every once so I was interested when John Woo decided to remake The Killers (1989) one of my favorite films by him. There was never going to be a chance that this remake would have been able to compete with the original, but I do have to say it’s definitely not as bad as I thought it was going to be. There’s actually a decent amount to really appreciate here.

Nathalie Emmanuel manages to pull her performance off quite well with the action filled moments, but is unfortunately halted by the more quieter moments. The problem here is her character is just not that interesting, the emotional weight, her whole conflict and such are just not developed as much as they should and what’s left is your basic tough protagonist with nothing incredibly investing going on. Having that said I do think Emmanuel and the rest of the cast did what they could and gave some alright performances that ultimately did push this movie to the end.

I will say the movie has some pretty nice visuals, it’s definitely one of the better looking straight to streaming films that’s out right now. It’s definitely not as impressive looking as the original, but at the very least there’s a decent amount going on with the visuals, action scenes (some of which are very neat) and the camera movements. It’s never dull to look at and uses some of Woo’s techniques that we have grown to love (although not always effectively.)

The biggest problem here is the movie just lacks the necessary depth of the original, the movie tries to give it’s supporting characters development but said development never really goes anywhere Omar Sy’s character Sey to be exact. Sure there’s a few moments but it’s ultimately very underdeveloped, there were attempts at bringing tension into the movie however the predictable plot squashes that almost immediately and when you have very bland characters on top of that it loses the viewer incredibly quickly.

Despite sounding very negative I actually don’t think it’s terrible, it has great acting, the filming is neat and I like the action scenes. The Killer just falls apart when it comes to the writing and building its characters.

The Killer is available on Peacock

5/10 C

The Demon Disorder (2024) Film Review!

The pasts of three brothers and their deceased father collide when a deep, dark family secret is unearthed, leading to a case of revenge from beyond the grave.

The Demon Disorder is directed by Steven Boyle which is his directorial debut.

Definitely one of those cases where I respect the effort and attempt that was put into the movie rather than actually liking it.

The biggest positive here is the gore and effects, Boyle has done plenty of makeup work and special effects work in the past so it’s not a surprise to see some pretty decent gore with some quite solid special effects. It’s some pretty gnarly stuff that leans into the body horror elements the movie is going for. Which to the movie’s credit the body horror stuff works very well, it might not really have that much meaning behind it but it works as an impressive showcase of makeup and effects.

Having that said the rest of the movie is where it crumbles, the movie explores family dysfunction and generational trauma which sadly doesn’t really execute these topics in a fresh way, there’s some metaphors for dementia and disease that are pretty neat but that’s really all there is to them. The third act I will say is definitely an improvement over the rest of the movie, simply due to it wanting to go in a far more interesting direction.

Overall The Demon Disorder really does not have a whole lot going on, there’s some excellent gore, special effects and a strong third act. But unfortunately the rest of the movie is incredibly lacking.

The Demon Disorder is available on Shudder.

4/10 D+

Out Come The Wolves (2024) Film Review!

Three friends decide to spend the weekend hunting, but when they venture out of their cabin and into the woods, they soon become the hunted.

Out Come The Wolves is directed by Adam Macdonald director of Backcountry (2014) and Pyewacket (2017)

Adam Macdonald brings us a second film of his that has a wild animal attacking people, first there was Backcountry (2014) (which I actually quite liked!) now there’s Out Come The Wolves and well it’s the same sort of stuff only not as good due to being way too similar.

Missy Peregrym who was also the lead in Backcountry (2014) is here in this movie once again as the lead. The setup, filming and even writing are very similar to Backcountry (2014). Much like the previously mentioned film, the filming is quite beautiful which is mainly due to the location which is Dundas, Ontario. The location adds suspense to the movie and does a pretty solid job of building atmosphere all the way through the movie. Missy Peregrym much like in Backcountry (2014) gives a solid performance, she does the same sort of acting but at least it fits with the theme.

What’s holding this movie back from being solid is mainly the characters, while the first few moments of the movie gives some actually quite interesting character moments without a ton of dialogue. The movie suddenly decides to spend a bit talking about the character’s backstory, which would be perfectly fine if any of the history between Kyle and Sophie the movie is trying to tell us actually mattered or developed their characters. The rest of the movie after that is a mishmash of a character drama, love triangle and backcountry thriller.

Having that said I don’t think the movie is necessarily bad, there’s a lot of solid moments here such as some of the wolf attacks that are pretty nasty, some of the character stuff is interesting even if the conclusion to said moments doesn’t really amount to anything grand.

Out Come The Wolves is available on all VOD platforms.

5/10 C

All My Friends Are Dead (2024) Film Review!

A group of college friends rents an airbnb for the biggest music festival of the year. However, their weekend of partying soon takes a deadly turn as a masked killer murders them one by one according to their sins.

All My Friends Are Dead is directed by Marcus Dunstan director of The Collector (2009), The Collection (2012), The Neighbor (2016) and Unhuman (2022).

Not a whole lot going on here, All My Friends Are Dead is your very basic slasher film a group of college friends rent out an Airbnb for a music festival and are killed off one by one. Nothing wrong with being a traditional slasher movie but unfortunately the movie itself is not very good.

Jade Pettyjohn is definitely the best of the cast and her character gets slightly more interesting moments and even some development, something that the rest of the cast is sadly missing. Admittedly the kills are quite fun with some pretty solid gore which isn’t a surprise given Dunstan’s work in the Saw franchise, however good kills can only get you so far especially when the script is really saying a whole lot of nothing.

The movie attempts some commentary on social media culture which is incredibly forgettable, it’s a topic that we have seen discussed multiple times before and this movie really isn’t saying anything new at all. The movie also tries similar ideas that Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022) did but ultimately fails due to characters that are incredibly one note and a script that is very unfocused.

I definitely think there was something here with All My Friends Are Dead but nothing ends up adding up in an interesting way that makes the movie standout. Outside of the kills and some occasionally decent acting there really is nothing here unfortunately.

All My Friends Are Dead is available on all VOD platforms.

3/10 D-

Most Anticipated Films Of September 2024!

August was a very productive month for me, I finally caught up with reviews (although I have 8 reviews left of films I saw last month but it’s not that bad). I cleaned up my watchlist quite well and the ball is rolling. September surprisingly has a lot of great looking films this year with tons of films being some of my most anticipated of the year!

18. Child Star – September 17th (Hulu)

17. Booger – September 13th (VOD)

16. Abruptio – September 27th (Theaters)

15. The Line – September 27th (Theaters)

14. Will & Harper – September 27th (Netflix)

13. Super/Man: The Christopher Reeves Story – September 21st (Theaters)

12. Never Let Go – September 20th (Theaters)

11. Sleep – September 27th (VOD)

10. Omni Loop – September 20th (VOD)

9. Apartment 7A – September 27th (Paramount+)

8. Azrael – September 27th (Theaters)

7. The Front Room – September 6th (Theaters)

6. His Three Daughters – September 6th (Theaters) and September 20th (Netflix)

5. Red Rooms – September 6th (Theaters)

4. Rebel Ridge – September 6th (Netflix)

3. A Different Man – September 20th (Theaters)

2. The Substance – September 20th (Theaters)

1. Beetlejuice Beetlejuice – September 6th (Theaters)

Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024) Film Review

Inside his book, adventurous Harold can make anything come to life simply by drawing it. After he grows up and draws himself off the book’s pages and into the physical world, he soon learns his trusty crayon can set off more hilarious hijinks than he thought possible. However, when the power of unlimited imagination falls into the wrong hands, it will take all of his creativity to save both the real world and his own.

Harold and the Purple Crayon is directed by Carlos Saldanha director of Ice Age (2002) (Co director), Robots (2005) (Co director), Ice Age: The Meltdown (2006), Ice Age: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs (2009), Rio (2011), Rio 2 (2014) and Ferdinand (2017).

This won’t be a surprise to many but Harold and the Purple Crayon is terrible, just the idea of a live action adaption of the 1955 children’s book by Crockett Johnson leaves a bad taste in your mouth. What’s interesting is that at one point this was going to be animated film which would have been far more appropriate and make more sense as well. Steven Spielberg was even involved at a certain point to help with the project, but instead we got this mess which is quite easily one of the worst movies of the year.

The performances here are just awful, Zachary Levi in particular turns an already terrible movie into something incredibly obnoxious, throughout the movie he plays the usual annoying man child type of character that if you thought couldn’t get any more annoying this movie will show you how much worse it gets. The idea of having Harold as an adult was a bad one to start with, but to make him an obnoxious character who has no character outside of being loud and annoying. The rest of the cast while not as bad as Levi aren’t much better, Jemaine Clement plays an incredibly one note villain (yeah there’s a villain in this movie I’m not sure why either), Lil Rei Howery could have gotten a few good jokes in there if the script wasn’t so horrible and everyone else just sort of exists.

For a movie that’s about using your imagination, Harold and the Purple Crayon certainly lacks the imagination and creativity of it’s source material. This is just a mishmash of terrible family movie cliches from the last several years, slapped into a beloved children’s book adaptation. The writing is horrendous, there isn’t one line here that is at least chuckle worthy, creative or has anything to really say.

The storytelling is especially horrible due to giving us a story that quite frankly did not need to be told, I don’t think anyone was really begging for a continuation of the book where Harold grows up to be a man in his 40s and act obnoxious for 90 minutes. If anything this is a complete one eighty from the book that quite frankly misses the entire point of its source material.

Overall had they stuck with an animated adaption I think there could have been something here, but instead we are given one of the laziest and worst movies of the year.

Harold and the Purple Crayon is available on all VOD platforms.

Disgrace To Cinema F