Quick Review: Jurassic Island (2022)

A group of explorers find themselves on an unknown Island surrounded by “extinct animals”.

Jurassic Island is basically something The Asylum would make, it’s completely what you expect from a movie like this. Terrible acting, writing, special effects and so on. There’s a ton of it’s so bad it’s hilarious moments that are by far the best part about the movie, but outside of that everything else feels like a chore to sit through.

Jurassic Island releases tomorrow on all VOD Platforms and April 12th on DVD.

1/10 F

Morbius is a terrible installment in Sony’s Spider-Man Universe.

Dangerously ill with a rare blood disorder and determined to save others from the same fate, Dr. Morbius attempts a desperate gamble. While at first it seems to be a radical success, a darkness inside of him is soon unleashed.

So Morbius is finally released after numerous delays and there’s a whole lot to unpack here…and not in a good way. Morbius is another one of Sony’s Spider-Man universe films like Venom and Venom: Let There Be Carnage, for what it’s worth Venom has so sort of grown on me, I still think it’s terrible but there are plenty of so bad it’s hilarious moments to be had. Venom: Let There Be Carnage is flawed but I genuinely liked it mostly because I found it to be far more successful than the first movie in terms of what it wants to be. Morbius however is a complete and total mess from start to finish, the only positive I can give it is Matt Smith who tried his absolute hardest to make the movie entertaining, plus Matt Smith is just one of those actors where no matter how garbage a movie is he will always be a positive. So Jared Leto plays Dr. Michael Morbius who has a rare blood disorder so he tries to find a cure for himself and his life long friend Milo played by Matt Smith. Once he finds the cure it seems to work at first before he becomes the vampire Morbius. So right off the bat (pun absolutely intended) Jared Leto gives yet another terrible performance, I see what they tried to go for here but it just didn’t work at all, Leto isn’t one of those actors who can make a monotone performance into something interesting, the whole blood plot line would be really interesting to follow if the movie slowed down and took a breath plus if the editing wasn’t atrocious. I get the movie is only an hour and 44 minutes long but that’s the problem it feels incredibly rushed almost like an abridged version of Morbius or if someone wrote this as if it was an essay on sparksnote, the side characters serve little to no purpose and are given barely anything to do. Martine Bancroft’s (Adria Arjona) only purpose is to be a love interest for Morbius, Dr. Emil Nicholas (Jared Harris) is basically a mentor figure to Morbius if you can even call him that, Agent Simon Stroud (Tyrese Gibson) is given very little to do outside of being a generic law enforcement character and lastly Agent Rodriguez (Al Madrigal) is basically the comedic relief law enforcement character. Which to be fair Al Madrigal is by far the best of the supporting cast mainly because he actually gives this movie some sort of life, as I said earlier Matt Smith is the only good part about this mess, there’s scenes where he just does his own thing. I also found Milo to be a far more interesting character than Morbius who strangely got more development as well. Morbius also tries to include some horror elements one scene in particular but that falls flat mainly due to it being really nothing special at all, in fact pretty much any given horror film has done that scene far better. The writing by Matt Sazama (The Last Witch Hunter, God’s Of Egypt, Power Rangers (2017) and Dracula Untold) and Burk Sharpless (wrote the same films as Sazama minus The Last Witch Hunter) is atrocious there’s a lot of “jokes” in this movie that are so weirdly put in and the movie wants you to take them seriously as well. The writing feels both way too much yet so little at the same time, it over complicates a simple plot that could have been investing if the layout wasn’t so atrocious. Overall Morbius is a complete and total disaster, it doesn’t have the entertainment value that the Venom movies had and it ironically feels like it was rushed despite being delayed so many times.

Morbius is available in theaters!

1/10 F

The Bubble is a bubble that pops immediately.

A group of actors and actresses stuck inside a pandemic bubble at a hotel attempts to complete a film.

I’m not the biggest fan of Judd Apatow’s work but I can definitely respect them for what they are and their impact, Apatow’s previous film The King Of Staten Island is hands down my favorite by him. Mostly due to it being beautifully told, there’s a lot of meaning to it, it’s well written and acted, plus Pete Davison just gives a fantastic performance. So I was hoping his next film The Bubble would be great but unfortunately that’s not the case here, The Bubble is a very unfunny COVID-19 related movie that attempts to try be a satire however it’s not a good one at the slightest. The only positive I can say is the cast tries to make the script work mainly Karen Gillan and Pedro Pascal, outside of that the rest of the movie consists of dreadful pacing combined with a 2 hour and 6 minute running time that feels more like 4 hours and dreadful writing that has very unfunny jokes. It’s baffling to me how Apatow someone who was actually pretty great with the comedy genre could directing something as unfunny as The Bubble, the best way to describe The Bubble is that it’s an extended SNL skit a very unfunny one that despite making COVID-19 jokes they feel strangely very outdated, overall The Bubble is hands down one of the worst movies so far this year. It’s baffling how many talented people were involved with this movie and it turned out to be THIS bad, make sure to avoid this one at all costs.

The Bubble is available on Netflix.

1/10 F

Moonshot is a decent romantic comedy that is filled with great chemistry!

In a future where Mars is terraformed, two college students sneak onboard a space shuttle from Earth to Mars in order to be united with their significant others.

Something that I quite like so far this year when it comes to film is that the romantic comedy genre is having a sort of comeback in terms of quality, Marry Me, I Want You Back and now Moonshot. Moonshot is a movie that could have easily been a very below average romantic comedy movie but the highs make this one standout. Lana Condor does a really solid job here, and easily the best part of the film. The same can be said with Cole Sprouse and the two together have great chemistry between one another, which really makes the movie work quite well. Despite the sci-fi setting the movie doesn’t break any new ground and the side characters are very standard but that’s not enough to take away the movie’s charm, it’s entertaining and actually builds Sophie’s (Lana Condor) and Walt’s (Cole Sprouse) characters to the point where the viewer actually cares for the chemistry. If you are a fan of romantic comedies this is definitely something worth checking out, it’s a cute little movie that could have went a little more in depth but as it stands is a pretty decent watch!

Moonshot is available on HBO Max!

6/10 C+

Night’s End starts out strong but is ruined by a puzzling third act.

An anxious shut-in moves into a haunted apartment, hiring a stranger to perform an exorcism which quickly takes a horrific turn.

Night’s End is a horror movie that almost works but crumbles when the final act goes into a completely different direction that doesn’t match the tone at all. The acting is surprisingly very decent especially from Geno Walker, Michael Shannon and Felonious Munk. The atmosphere was definitely there during the first two acts of the film there were some genuinely creepy moments that gave the movie a haunting feel to it, there’s a new term of horror that I like to call “lockdown horror” where the entire idea is that it was done during the COVID-19 lockdown. Host which is immediately the first film people think of set the standard quite well and I believe was the very first one. Night’s End tries to do what Host did but unfortunately completely misses, the final act takes what was a haunting atmosphere and tries to go for a much more campy feel to it that’s just way too silly for it to work. It’s a very strange case of suddenly switching a movie’s tone that completely damages it, had the movie been consistent with the tone this would have been a much more successful movie. But as it stands it’s a just below that passable line which is all the more frustrating.

Night’s End is available on Shudder

5/10 C

Kicking Blood is a bland take on the vampire genre.

After falling for a recovering alcoholic, a modern-day vampire sets her mind and heart on quitting blood and becoming human again.

Kicking Blood is bad and not in a fun way, it takes the vampire genre and attempts to try and do something a tad different but ultimately fails due to mostly budget constraints. The acting in particular is what’s holding this one back from being interesting, granted there are a few “so bad it’s hilarious” moments that got a few chuckles out of me but that’s really about it, I actually liked Alanna Bale a lot even if her performance wasn’t good it was the best out of everyone. I do hope she goes on to be in far better movies because I definitely think she has potential, outside of that the writing is very empty with very little substance and just not enough for the cast to work with. Kicking Blood might be good for a trash movie night but outside of that there is really no reason to give this one a look.

Kicking Blood is available on all VOD Platforms.

3/10 D-

Twitter Activism and why it is harmful and is not useful.

The last few days of on Twitter have been some of the worst I’ve ever seen and that’s saying a lot given how bad the app can really be. So what started this? Well let’s go back to Sunday March 27th. If you have been on the internet the last couple days chances are you have heard about the situation about Will Smith and Chris Rock at the Oscars. I’m not going to do a in depth analysis on the whole situation as that’s not what this piece is going to focus on but I’ll give a quick rundown. Chris Rock is about to present best documentary, he makes a joke about Jada Smith and calls her G.I. Jane when Jada has Alopecia (it’s unclear if he knew in advance or not). Will Smith gets up, slaps him in the face and says “leave my wife’s name out of your fucking mouth”. A little after the Oscars end the Academy announces that they are going to have an “investigation” on if Will Smith will lose his Oscar or not. People were mad about this because to quote some people “this is the same academy that’s awarded rapists, racists and pedophiles and now they want to take action over a slap?” It’s also worth noting that Chris Rock declined to press charges against Will Smith.

So what does any of this have to do with Twitter activism well ever since the academy made their announcement some celebrities started taking sides either calling out Will Smith or Chris Rock, then people would proceed to show either racist, misogynistic, ableist and so on behavior said celebrity did. At first it was perfectly fair Alec Baldwin, OJ Simpson (yes you read that right) and Jim Carey who have done very garbage things that are well documented were among a few that got called out. Which is perfectly fine, as long as you have sources to back up your claims it’s all fair game…unfortunately what started out as something that meant well got completely hijacked by people who wanted to take advantage of the situation.

For starters people accused Euphoira Star Maude Apatow of racism because of a tweet she wrote back in 2011 when she was just 12/13 years old, where she says “I’m at that age where everything you say is either incredibly racist or extremely inappropriate” she later clarified what she meant “I meant that everyone at my age was terrible!!!” And pretty much most people let the situation go, but why was she brought into this? Because Judd Apatow said something incredibly ridiculous about how Will Smith could have “killed” Chris Rock with a slap, so I guess some idiots thought Maude must be guilty as well.

I wish this is where the story ends but so many other celebrities who didn’t say a thing against Will Smith got brought into it such as Andrew Garfield who was called out for the massive crime of working on a film with Mel Gibson (Hacksaw Ridge), Sydney Sweeney and Alex Demie were accused of being pedophiles because Sweeney was in Everything Sucks and Demie being in Mid90s and Robert Pattinson being accused of saying the n slur (while he did say it there was a whole lot of context missing oh yeah and it was from 2010).

So with that out of the way let’s talk why Twitter Activism is so harmful, well for starters it minimizes actual cases of pedophilia for example. Let me take Sydney Sweeney for example, with the way idiots on Twitter were discussing about her it would give you the impression that she actually did something terrible….but no it was acting for a show that nobody ever talks about, it’s the same case with Alexa Demie although Mid90s is much more well known than Everything Sucks. Heck Mid90s isn’t even that old it’s a film from 2018 directed by Jonah Hill. And the film didn’t try to hide the fact that it wasn’t controversial it wanted to be the next Larry Clarke‘s 1995 controversial film “Kids”. Heck this is almost the exact same thing when people complained about Licorice Pizza only that Alana Haim was not called a pedophile (at least from what I’ve seen). This might be a hot take for some but acting does not mean your doing it in real life, Alexa Demie and Sydney Sweeney are not pedophiles and it’s disgusting that people are trying to minimize the effect of it. Pedophilia isn’t something to joke around about it, it’s a serious and dangerous effect that damages kids well into adulthood. And the fact you have some numbskulls on Twitter calling actresses pedophiles for acting sickens me and is a slap in the face to victims.

And it’s not just pedophilia people are reducing to for brownie points, Robert Pattinson was apparently this violent racist all because of one clear as day misleading screenshot that people took at face value. Quickly after however it was proven that while Pattinson did say it there was a ton of context missing and the interview was done in…..2010. Something people conveniently forgot to mention, we have actual bigots running around twitter who run their mouth daily but I guess this was somehow more important. It also doesn’t help that this was brought up entirely with bad faith, all because this person was salty that Ben Affleck (which is hilarious because Affleck has sexual misconduct accusations) isn’t Batman anymore. So no Pattinson is not a violent racist, should he address it? Probably? But people took this way out of proportion and as usual did very little research before commenting.

Regarding Andrew Garfield’s case this is going to be another hot take for some but I think guilt by association sets a very bad precedent, think about it say you were friends with someone who turned out to be a complete and total asshole and even though you didn’t do anything and you are the nicest person in the world. People want to have nothing to do with you, do you think that’s fair? If you answered no why would you want to set a dangerous example? For some quick internet clout that you will lose in a day because people will realize how idiotic this is?

I want to be clear that I am all for combating hate, I like to think I do a pretty decent job of calling it out when I see it. I think we as a society have work to do when it comes racism, ableism, transphobia, homophobia, antisemitism and so on. But this is definitely not how we are going to accomplish it, we can’t just throw around these terms like candy it minimizes actual situations I know I bring this situation up a lot but it fits my point here. The whole Sia situation with her ableist film Music is a prime example of everyone being on the same page and actually combating hate, so that tells me people are capable of combating hate. There’s just a lot of people on Twitter who don’t care about accountability and will call the most minor stuff that either is completely out of context, lies or just misinformation. I’ll end this here by saying PLEASE do research before you make a claim, check and see if posts you see are accurate and aren’t random screenshots from some obscure website that aren’t reliable. And if you truly want to help victims of hate please stop minimizing words and expecting brownie points for doing less than the bare minimum.

Most Anticipated Films Of April 2022!

March was a long but incredibly strong month for film, giving the likes of Batman, X, Fresh, After Yang, Topside, Turning Red and many others. So now we move on to April a month that also looks like it could be really strong.

As usual I’m leaving out films I have already seen however there are two films that are quite fantastic that I do highly recommend checking out this month which are.

Tony Hawk: Until The Wheels Fall Off – April 5th (HBO and HBO Max)

We’re All Going To The World’s Fair – April 15th (Theater) and April 22nd (VOD)

With that said here’s my most anticipated for April 2022!

14. Ambulance – April 8th (Theater)

13. The Bubble – April 1st (Netflix)

12. Apollo 10 1/2: A Space Childhood – April 1st (Netflix)

11. Charlotte – April 22nd (Theater)

10. The Bad Guys – April 22nd (Theaters)

9. Bubble – April 28th (Netflix)

8. Sonic The Hedgehog 2 – April 8th (Theaters)

7. Cow – April 8th (VOD)

6. The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent – April 22nd (Theaters)

5. Memoria -April 1st (Theater) yes I will be counting this is a 2022 film, giving a very limited release when there was four days left last year is very unfair to the film.

4. Petite Maman – April 22nd (Theaters)

3. Everything Everywhere All At Once – April 8th (Theaters)

2. Vortex – April 29th (Theaters)

1. The Northman – April 22nd (Theaters)

And that wraps it up here!!! What is your most anticipated film of April 2022? What movies do you plan on seeing?

Micro Review: Follower (2022)

Three friends on a backpacking trip find themselves stalked by a mysterious individual recording their every move.

Honestly not a whole lot to this one, Follower has a very simple premise that doesn’t bring anything new to the table. But at the very least it’s entertaining mostly due to the cast who do bring a lot of fun to the film. With that said this is something I definitely would not go back to as it is a very typical social media follower stalks a group type movie, the writing is very basic and the acting is very mixed. Really not much else to say here.

Follower is available on all VOD Platforms.

4/10 D+

Olivia Rodrigo: Driving Home 2 U (A Sour Film) is a entertaining and well crafted film on Olivia Rodrigo’s music!

Singer-songwriter Olivia Rodrigo takes a familiar road trip from Salt Lake City, where she began writing her debut album ‘SOUR’, to Los Angeles. Along the way, Rodrigo recounts the memories of writing and creating her record-breaking debut album.

Watching Olivia Rodrigo’s career quickly skyrocket and transform has only been and will still continue to be a beautiful site. There isn’t a whole lot to be said here as it is another one of those films where it plays out like a concert film, however what makes Driving home 2 u so successful is Rodrigo’s personality, the journey that’s being taken place in the film and how it’s honestly just beautifully made. It feels like a personal film from Olivia Rodrigo, she gives her opinions on each of her songs and what she liked or disliked about them. Plus giving some more context of each of the songs which is always nice, the songs are well done and the filming is quite beautiful as well particularly Brutal which was only thought of in one day but went on to be a huge favorite from audiences and fans (myself included). Lastly what really helps with this film is Olivia Rodrigo herself, she comes off as a genuine person which the same can’t be said for a lot of other celebrities, in this case it feels like you are actually learning a bit more about her which is truly a breath of fresh air. If you are a fan of Olivia Rodrigo this is definitely something worth watching and if you are someone who wants a great introduction to her this is honestly the best way to start.

Olivia Rodrigo: driving home 2 u (A Sour Film) is available on Disney+

9/10 A