The Kissing Booth 3 (2021) Movie Review!

It’s the summer before Elle Evans is set to head off to college, and she has a big decision to make.

Netflix stood there and said “you know what there isn’t enough pain in this world” and then proceeded to release The Kissing Booth 3.

Joking aside The Kissing Booth 3 is a disaster, the first movie while I thought was a very bad movie I’ve seen far far worse. The second movie is horrendous and was one of the worst movies of 2020 but get this….it gets worse. The Kissing Booth 3 is hands down the worst of the series mostly due to a number things, first off the acting seems like it’s gotten worse. Yes the acting in the second movie was terrible as well but in this one it feels like the type of acting you would see on the LifeTime channel or the Sy-Fy channel. It really sucks because Jacob Elordi is a talented actor (he’s fantastic in Euphoria) but he gets stuck in garbage movies like this that don’t give him anything to work with at all. The characters continue to be unlikable, they are almost the exact same from the last movie and continue to be that way to the end. The writing gets even worse I understand that this series was originally a Wattpad story but did anyone look at this and say “you know what maybe that could have used a rewrite”? And like the other movies this is another example of writers not knowing how teenagers talk or act, I know I hate using this word in my reviews but I feel like it’s 100% needed in this case…the writing is cringe. There isn’t one moment where I felt the writers knew what they were doing, not one moment where there was an attempt to tell an interesting story or write any character development. The pacing combined with the running time is one of the most painful parts about this movie, the second movie was 2 hours and 11 minutes (still to this day I’m trying to figure out exactly why) this movie is 1 your and 52 minutes which at first before watching I was thinking “maybe they learned their lesson and trimmed it down and the pacing will be far better!” That’s not the case here and far from it, I would argue that the pacing is even worse in The Kissing Booth 3, mostly due to nothing happening throughout this entire movie. You feel every single minute of those 1 hour and 52 minutes it’s painful, what can I really say about the plot? It’s what you expect and it ends how you expect it to, this is really the bottom of the barrel when it comes to teen movies, I apologize if my review is sort of a mess but there really is not much to be said about the plot or anything interesting about each of the acts. It’s a bunch of cliches mixed into one horrendous movie, the fact there’s three of these movies is truly incredible. The most positive I can say about it is at least it’s the last movie (until Netflix says “money!” and makes a fourth one) Joey King and Jacob Elordi are free of this series. Overall The Kissing Booth 3 is one of the worst movies of the year, poorly acted, poorly written, horribly paced and just an overall huge waste of time.

The Kissing Booth 3 is now available on Netflix!

Disgrace To Cinema F

Jungle Cruise (2021) Movie Review!

Based on Disneyland’s theme park ride where a small riverboat takes a group of travelers through a jungle filled with dangerous animals and reptiles but with a supernatural element.

Jungle Cruise is the type of movie where I was expecting to absolutely hate it, while the movie is heavily flawed I couldn’t help but have a lot of fun with it. I’ll start with what I really liked, what made this movie worth watching through the end for me was Emily Blunt. I might be biased because she’s my favorite actress but she really did a solid job in her role, she looked like she had a lot of fun in the role and was very entertaining throughout the movie. The Rock also does a really solid job as well, if there’s one thing that can be said about The Rock it’s that he knows how to sell a movie to the audience. He’s pretty great in front of the camera and always looks like he’s having the time of his life, which fit this movie quite well. The jokes had their moments of genuinely being funny which was mostly the puns (again I might be biased since I love puns) finally I liked that the movie kind of just goes nuts towards the end like yes there are some stylistic choices that were terrible (I’ll get to that) but there are the moments are genuinely enjoyable that make for a really fun movie. As I said before Jungle Cruise is heavily flawed and some of the stylistic choices are some of the major problems, at times the movie tries to be way too serious Jessie Plemons plays one of the villains and I feel like his character feels completely out of place. It also doesn’t help that he wasn’t very good either, other weird choices include going back and forth between being comedic and being serious. Which I’m not saying a movie can’t do that, the editing just sort of made it very awkward in this case. Everything else in the movie such as the writing weren’t bad by any means just nothing really noteworthy, it did the job and that was about it. Overall Jungle Cruise could have been a lot worse, it’s a fun movie to put on during a lazy afternoon. It got the job done and sometimes that’s all a movie needs to do.

Jungle Cruise is now available in theaters and on Disney+ Premier Access!

6/10 C+

The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard, Batman The Long Halloween Part 2 and Rock Dog 2: Rock Around The Park (2021) Movie Reviews!

The bodyguard Michael Bryce continues his friendship with assassin Darius Kincaid as they try to save Darius’ wife Sonia.

This is another case where studios will make a sequel out of almost anything, The Hitman’s Bodyguard was generic action comedy that had good actors in it (Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson) they had great chemistry but that was about it. The sequel Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard is more less the same thing, except a few new cast members are added and the jokes aren’t as funny. Morgan Freeman definitely phones it in and it’s very telling from his role, the chemistry between Reynolds and Jackson is at least still decent enough. There are jokes that do land but the problem is that it takes awhile to get to said jokes, a lot of this movie is just a whole lot of nothing. The action is fine I guess but it really isn’t anything to write home about. I really don’t have much else to comment on, as I said it’s almost the same thing as the first movie only that this one is slightly weaker.

The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard is now available on all VOD Platforms!

4/10 D+

Batman pursues a serial killer with the assistance of Police Officer James Gordon and Attorney Harvey Dent. But when the killer takes on the criminal family of the Falcones, Harvey Dent gets caught between the fronts.

Batman The Long Halloween, Part Two is almost identical to it’s predecessor only that this one has more action than drama. Which is exactly what I expected and quite frankly what most people were expecting, like it’s predecessor the voice acting, animation and the dark atmosphere are all really strong and make this movie standout as well. Despite having a lot of action there is also a lot of great character moments that do help in the character development area, the action scenes were quite great as well. Not much else to say, as I said everything I said about the first movie can be applied to this one, so if you loved the first movie you will definitely love this one.

Batman The Long Halloween Part Two is now available on all VOD Platforms!

7/10 B

When Bodi and his band ‘True Blue’ leave Snow Mountain, to tour with pop sensation, Lil’ Foxy, they learn that fame comes at a price.

I know it’s very cliche to say “who asked for this”but it most definitely applies here, Rock Dog was some bad animated movie that came out in 2017 and soon after it’s release it disappeared. I guess someone thought it was a good idea to make a sequel which is ultimately a very pointless one. The animation is extremely cheap it heavily reminds me of those Youtube kids videos animation which is not a good thing, the movie reuses tons of character models as well. The writing is garbage and the story is very predictable, what else do I really need to say? It’s Rock Dog 2 a sequel that nobody asked for.

Rock Dog 2: Rock Around The Park is now available on all VOD Platforms!

1/10 F

Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021) Movie Review!

A rogue artificial intelligence kidnaps the son of famed basketball player LeBron James, who then has to work with Bugs Bunny to win a basketball game.

Get ready because this is going to be a long one, a sequel to Space Jam was inevitable whenever the topic of “movies that will most likely get sequels” or “sequels we want to see” Space Jam was always there. Fast forward to 2021 and the sequel is out and look I’m not going to act like the first movie is some sort of masterpiece, in fact I’m not even a fan of the first movie It was one of those movies where I liked it as a kid but now it’s really not good. However the first movie at least tried (Michael Jordan was horrendous however) the same can’t be said for Space Jam: A New Legacy. So to start off if you spent time on Twitter and saw the number of cameos in the movie…it’s just as painful as they look. Each and every single one of them feels forced there’s going to be spoilers of what some of them are so skip ahead if you do not want to read! The cameos in question is pretty much anything that Warner Bros owns from Rick And Morty, Mad Max Fury Road, Superman, Austin Powers and several others heck during the basketball game you can see numerous characters like The Iron Giant, The Flintstones, Batman villains, the Clockwork Orange crew (yes Alex and his gang are for whatever reason there) and a ton of others. (END OF SPOILERS HERE!) I feel like my friend said it best about this movie “this is the equivalent of a rich kid coming into show and tell and instead of showing one item he or she decides to show like 50 items.” This is the type of filmmaking that I consider not filmmaking, it’s nothing but a million dollar studio looking down at the audience and saying “look how much IPs we own!!” The worst part about it is none of these cameos do anything for the story at all, they are all just there without any rhyme or reason. The only thing I can say I liked in this huge mess was the animation, I thought it was actually well done and gave the characters the energy they usually have. There were one or two jokes that were okay but the rest of the jokes didn’t land at all, I know I say “this movie was not funny” quite often but trust me when I say that a majority of these jokes were horrendous. During the first act of the movie they already use a Big Chungus meme which completely comes out of nowhere, let’s get to the acting, writing and story. The acting is complete garbage LeBron James’s performance was quite awful, it feels like he’s not trying at all, with no energy or effort put into it at all. On the other hand Don Cheadle gives a “it’s so bad it’s hilarious” type performance he truly looks like he’s having a blast which is something refreshing to see, the writing and story are both terrible and a complete total mess. Random plots just happen for no other reason which brings me back to the cameos, you can feel the desperation in the writing when it comes to the cameos to the point where it’s embarrassing. Did I forget to mention that it’s 2 hours long? A huge giant commercial for HBO Max and the rest of Warner Bros IPs, with horrendous pacing that feels like you are sitting through a 4 hour commercial on loop. I have nothing else to say Space Jam: A New Legacy is a disaster, this is what happens when a studio resorts to one of the lost common denominator of filmmaking, hadn’t been for the animation and Don Cheadle this movie would have absolutely gotten my lowest rating.

Space Jam: A New Legacy is now in theaters and HBO Max!

1/10 F

Here Today (2021) Movie Review!

When veteran comedy writer Charlie Burnz meets New York singer Emma Payge, they form an unlikely yet touching friendship that kicks the generation gap aside and redefines the meaning of love and trust.

Here Today definitely had potential but unfortunately is ruined by a number of things, I will say that Billy Crystal and Tiffany Haddish do a fine enough of job and have a decent chemistry it’s nothing amazing but it works for the movie. However everything else is just terrible, the balance of comedy and drama is horrendous here. At one moment the movie is trying to take itself very seriously and then right after there’s a unfunny joke making several scenes feel very awkward. It’s like nobody could decide if they wanted to make this a drama or a comedy so they went with both and this was the end result. The writing wasn’t strong at all there was so much missing to make the chemistry between Haddish and Crystal even better, there’s a few sweet scenes that do work every once in awhile but that’s very far and few in between. Overall Here Today is very forgettable and not something I recommended watching!

Here Today is now available on VOD Platforms!

3/10 D-

The House Next Door: Meet The Blacks 2 (2021) Movie Review!

When best selling author Carl Black moves his family back to his childhood home, he must team up with oddball neighbors to do battle with a pimp, who may or may not be an actual vampire.

I’ve been very soft with giving movies my “disgrace to cinema” rating this year, mostly because I look back at some movies and feel like they were undeserving of the rating (although they are still terrible) however when something like Meet The Blacks 2 comes along I feel much better giving the rating to certain movies. Good lord what were they even trying to do with this movie? At least the first Meet The Blacks knew it was trying to be a parody of The Purge a terrible one let me remind you. This movie however feels like a random post made by a bot on Twitter, it’s nonsensical to the point where you question everything that is going on and not in a good way. The acting, writing, editing, directing are all terrible it’s not even worth going on and on about them. I would be repeating the exact same thing over and over again, I seriously couldn’t tell you what exactly happens in this movie events just keep happening until the movie ends and that’s it. Meet The Blacks 2 feels like something that was made back in the parody movie era but was never released until last month, the humor is just not funny the movie itself is so desperate for a laugh from the audience it becomes embarrassing. It’s also very poorly made as well, it feels like a college student’s failed film project that was trying way too hard to be funny. Hands down one of the worst movies of the year, avoid this at all costs….Deon Taylor needs to be stopped.

The House Next Door: Meet The Blacks 2 is now available on VOD Platforms!

Disgrace To Cinema F

Luca (2021) Movie Review!

On the Italian Riviera, an unlikely but strong friendship grows between a human being and a sea monster disguised as a human.

Being who you are can be hard, coming out (in any given sense) and expressing who you are as a person is not easy. Luca is a film that does quite a fantastic job of showing just that, the animation is stunning and gives the characters, the environment and the interaction between the characters so much life. It gives off this raw feel to it which is actually not very common in a lot of animated films, the story is absolutely beautifully told. It’s told in this dreamlike feel to it that feels very real but also like a dream at the same time, it’s a very interesting approach and one that I definitely appreciated. As I said before Luca uses the theme of hiding who you really are and does it in such a clever way, as the movie goes on it uses the theme in a lot of interesting and clever ways. It is a common theme to use in a tv show or a movie but I would argue that Luca uses it in the most unique and far more interesting way. The character development is also spot on, instead of quickly rushing to meet several different characters the movie takes it’s time for the audience and the movie itself to get to know the characters. Luca gets more and more meaningful as it goes on which is truly something special, the writing has tons of powerful moments that did make me cry at times. Pixar really hit this one out of the park, Luca is one of my favorite films of the year! Definitely check this one out!!

Luca is now available on Disney+

10/10 A+

Fatherhood and Vicious Fun (2021) Movie Reviews!

A father brings up his baby girl as a single dad after the unexpected death of his wife who died a day after their daughter’s birth.

Really not a whole lot to say here. Fatherhood is definitely a nice surprise, Kevin Hart actually gives a very different type of performance than he usually gives and for the most part he does a solid job. He doesn’t hit every single emotional beat especially at the start of the movie, but as it goes on he gets better and better. As for the rest of the movie it’s a very standard parent drama movie, it doesn’t do anything new or something to write home about but it doesn’t do anything bad either. The writing can be a hit or miss at times but there’s a ton of charming moments that make up for it, it’s a sweet movie that while doesn’t say all that much is still a very decent watch!

Fatherhood is now available on Netflix!

6/10 C+

A horror film critic finds himself in a sticky situation when he stumbles into a self-help group for serial killers.

Vicious Fun is definitely one of the better Shudder Originals, it’s a fun slasher that combines the 80s soundtrack, neon lights and comedy that has some very solid jokes. It uses a lot of classic slasher movie tropes which in this case I feel actually work quite well, the characters are also a ton of fun as well. The chemistry is solid and the wiring has it’s humor that works. Overall pretty solid movie!

Vicious Fun is now available on Shudder!

7/10 B

Good On Paper (2021) Movie Review!

After years of putting her career first, a stand-up comic meets a guy who seems perfect, smart, nice, successful and possibly too good to be true.

Good On Paper is like the title suggests, it’s a interesting idea that ultimately leads to being another generic romantic comedy. Iliza Shlesinger is decent in her role and I do like the idea that this is based off of a real love story by her. However a lot of the movie fails to be any different than a lot of romantic comedy movies, a lot of it is the same jokes, the same plot lines but tweaked just a bit and a lot of the same type of characters. The acting and writing are nothing to write home about, none of it is terrible but at the same time none of it is really good (outside of Shlesinger) sorry if I sound like I’m throwing a bunch of thoughts together, Good On Paper did absolutely nothing for me at all. It’s one of those movies where you just don’t have much to comment on because there really isn’t much to say other than being a very below average romantic comedy movie that Netflix released.

Good On Paper is now available on Netflix!

4/10 D+

Tribeca Review: Mark, Mary + Some Other People (2021)

Newlyweds, reluctantly decide to give ethical non-monogamy a try as their lives get increasingly complicated.

Mark, Mary + Some Other People is hands down one of the best romantic comedies I’ve seen in a very long time, the premise of a couple exploring an open relationship is the type of premise that can definitely lead to some fantastic results and here it did! First off the chemistry between Ben Rosenfield and Hayley Law is incredible as the viewer you care about their relationship and they feel like real people, the problem I have with a lot of romantic comedies is a lot of them feel like they tend to have their characters not act like real people especially with how bad the writing can be. With this film you get something completely different quite refreshing in fact, that’s mainly due the performances that i mentioned before the very raw writing that leads to a ton of beautifully written scenes and the direction from Hannah Marks she really hit it out of the park when it comes to telling a beautifully raw story. The ending of this movie was a very nice touch as well and felt a lot more realistic than the traditional romantic comedy film, overall Mark, Mary + Some Other People is a fantastic film that I strongly recommend checking out when it releases!

9/10 A