The Exorcist: Believer is the very definition of a misfire.

When his daughter, Angela, and her friend Katherine, show signs of demonic possession, it unleashes a chain of events that forces single father Victor Fielding to confront the nadir of evil. Terrified and desperate, he seeks out Chris MacNeil, the only person alive who’s witnessed anything like it before.

Exorcist: Believer is the sixth film in The Exorcist franchise and serves as a sequel to The Exorcist (1973), David Gordon Green is back in the director’s chair for his second trilogy of films for Blumhouse (first being Halloween.) 

I’m one of those people who actually quite liked David Gordon Green’s Halloween trilogy, while each of the films had their flaws I still really liked them and they were quite a lot of fun. When I heard Green was going to be tackling The Exorcist next that’s when I got confused, for starters Halloween and The Exorcist are two VASTLY different franchises. Plus The Exorcist franchise itself outside of the 1973 classic and The Exorcist III is a huge mixed bag, it’s a franchise that most certainly did not need to be touched again. With that said I went with an open mind hoping that Green could somehow hit out of the park…and well surprise that’s not what happened. 

Whenever someone talks about “lazy studio horror movies” Exorcist Believer is a prime example of what they are talking about, in a time where the horror genre is constantly coming out with so many creative hits whether it be some surprisingly strong studio horror films or the many titans of indie horror. It’s very baffling to see something as lazy, poorly written and flat out refuses to do anything interesting as Exorcist: Believer. 

The movie does have it’s positives which mostly comes from the performances particularly Leslie Odom Jr. and Ellen Burstyn (who deserves so much better than this), Odom Jr. really tries his best to move the empty script as smoothly as he can and for what’s presented he doesn’t do a half bad job. The movie itself is at the very least decently made, there’s some nice shots here that are admittedly actually quite neat to look at. Finally the first 20 minutes or so are actually not terrible, it has a fine enough setup of two girls going missing in the woods. There was definitely potential here and it’s such a shame when the girls reappear the movie takes one of the biggest falls in quality I’ve seen from a movie this year. 

For starts Exorcist: Believer follows so many other exorcism movies and has the exact same sort of cliches you come to expect. Predictable jumpscares, completely surface level discussion about religion and terrible loud noises that desperately try to scare the viewer. Obviously comparing Believer to the original Exorcist isn’t fair the thing is however I didn’t go in expecting it to be a masterpiece, there’s parts here that really could have actually made for a decent movie. But they completely forgot what made the original so great…patience. 

The Exorcist (1973) is a slow and horrifying film that uses it’s pace to it’s advantage, it builds it’s characters, it’s story and it’s scare at the right moments to truly get the viewer. Exorcist Believer on the other hand is a loud, obnoxious movie that completely forgets to build it’s characters, doesn’t bother to do much with the story and only wants to focus on scares and expects the viewer to just be scared. 

Exorcist: Believer is an overall mess, there’s a genuinely decent start here but everything that comes after that completely misses the mark. With a huge lack of new ideas and just an overall dull direction to take this series, the thought of two more movies to Exorcist: Believer is far more horrifying than the movie itself. 

Exorcist: Believer is available on all VOD platforms. 

2/10 F

A Million Miles Away is a inspirational biopic about Jose M Hernandez!

Jose M Hernandez was born in Mexico. While working in the fields, he co-developed the first digital mammography imaging system. He then persevered to become a crew member on Space Shuttle mission STS-128.

A Million Miles Away is a biopic about José M. Hernández a Mexican-American astronaut, he was also the first migrant farm worker to go to space! 

This is a prime example of a biopic that’s really inspiring, sure it follows a lot of the traditional biopic traits. But you can easily tell there was a lot of heart and passion put into this one, the performances especially. Michael Peña is quite fantastic as Hernández he gives such an inspiring and heartfelt performance that will easily capture the hearts of the audience, Rosa Salazar is also quite fantastic as well. The chemistry between Peña and Salazar is absolutely fantastic, the movie goes over José and Adela’s  (played by Rosa Salazar) marriage as well as their Mexican-American roots which is important to their story. 

Admittedly it does take awhile to get to the NASA stuff, but when the film focuses on family, the dream of going to space and heart it absolutely nails that down wonderfully. The writing is also quite strong here with tons of heartfelt scenes and a lot of dialogue that is quite inspirational there’s seriously a lot to love here. 

Overall A Million Miles Away surprised me, it’s a biopic that might not be one of the absolute best out there. But Hernández’s story is told in such a beautiful way that you can’t help but feel happy by the end of the film. 

A Million Miles Away is available on Amazon Prime Video. 

7/10 B

Reptile is almost a solid thriller.

Following the brutal murder of a young real estate agent, a hardened detective attempts to uncover the truth in a case where nothing is as it seems, and, by doing so, dismantles the illusions in his own life.

Reptile is another Netflix crime thriller, not a whole lot to be said about Reptile but there’s actually parts here that did surprise me however Reptile slowly but surely starts to fall apart towards the end. 

Benicio del Toro is definitely the standout here, he easily steals the show during the first half of the movie and then proceeds to keep the movie afloat during the last portion of the movie when it goes downhill. Alicia Silverstone is also quite solid here but she’s given very little to do unfortunately. The first hour is genuinely interesting, it’s intense and has a lot of atmosphere too it. It has the thrilling atmosphere that the movie is going for. 

After the first hour that’s when things start to go downhill, the movie starts to become a nonsensical mess. With a plot that gets way too convoluted and ultimately leads into something very uninteresting, Justin Timberlake’s performance is also quite dull and is completely outshined by every other performance around him. 

Reptile is probably going to appeal to casual crime thriller fans, but for fans of the genre this is going to be way too familiar. 

Reptile is available on Netflix.

5/10 C

The Kill Room is a forgettable thriller.

A hit man teams up with an art dealer for a money-laundering scheme that unwittingly turns him into an avant-garde sensation.

Not exactly sure what to say here, The Kill Room sort of just disappeared when the release date was announced and then quietly released at the end of September. I was curious mainly due to the cast which consists of Uma Thurman, Samuel L. Jackson, Joe Manganiello, Maya Hawke and a few others. 

The Kill Room has a surprisingly great setup the movie uses an art gallery as a money laundering scheme, a little cliche in some areas during the beginning but the movie actually had a decent start. The acting is overall not bad here, Uma Thurman and Samuel L. Jackson being on screen together is neat and they both give solid performances. Maya Hawke and Joe Manganiello are pretty solid here as well, the cast really does a great job despite a very bare bones script. 

Unfortunately the middle portion of the movie is very rough and really doesn’t offer anything new to the heist movie genre, the ending luckily does have a couple really neat scenes that are actually quite enjoyable and luckily as I said earlier there’s the performances that save the movie from falling off a cliff. But ultimately there’s just not a whole lot here to comment on and not a whole lot to really explore. 

The Kill Room is available on all VOD platforms. 

4/10 D+

Cassandro is a disappointing biopic.

Saúl Armendáriz, a homosexual amateur wrestler from El Paso, Texas, rises to international stardom when he creates the character Cassandro, the `Liberace of Lucha Libre.’ He upends not just the macho wrestling world, but also his own life.

Biopics in recent years have become far more frequent, in some ways it’s a positive since audiences are introduced to people who they might have never heard of. On the other hand biopics being pushed out the door leaves room for some studios to really skim through said person’s story. Unfortunately that’s what happened here with Cassandro. 

Cassandro is a biopic about Saúl Armendáriz who became a wrestler and used the stage name Cassandro, he is a former NWA World Welterweight and UWA World Lightweight Champion.

Reading Armendáriz’s story it’s a very interesting one, a gay amateur wrestler slowly but surely climbs his way to international stardom, who along the way has a journey of expressing his sexual identity, going through loss, poverty and such. It’s an aspiring story that really deserves to be told in great detail but sadly that’s not the case here unfortunately. 

Cassandro is told as if someone was skimming a book they have to study for a test and declares that’s enough to pass, but in reality you are missing a lot of key details that are important. I will say that the performances all around are quite great the standout being Gael García Bernal who plays Cassandro, there’s a few moments where the movie clearly has it’s heart in the right place and has a few emotional moments that really do shine. Bernal’s performance is incredibly charming and really keeps you rooting for him throughout the film. The filming and score are also quite decent as well, they fit the tone for what the movie is going for especially towards the end. 

The main issue here is we really don’t get to see Cassandro overcome obstacles in a lot of detail, heck by the second fight he’s already a runaway star which really leaves the viewer puzzled as there is so much to his story not being told very well or just flat out missing. The movie takes the form of less then a biopic and more of a traditional underdog story that plays incredibly safe. I’m not saying the movie needed to include every single thing about Cassandro’s life but at the very least give more details and don’t leave out parts that could make this movie impactful. 

Cassandro is available on Amazon Prime Video. 

5/10 C

Slotherhouse a joke that runs for far too long.

Senior Emily Young wants to be elected sorority president. She adopts a cute sloth, thinking it will help her win, but a string of fatalities implicates the sloth.

Everyone loves a good “it’s so bad it’s funny movie” I’m sure you might have seen at least one and probably have a favorite. Movies like Thankskilling, Zombie Cats From Mars, Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes, Llamagedeon, Birdemic and a lot of others are prime examples. There’s some successes that go on to be quite memorable and then there’s ones that fade into obscurity mostly due to trying way too hard to be the next talked about movie on social media. Unfortunately Slotherhouse falls in the latter category. 

Slotherhouse is a satire of the whole sorority house slasher movies, except the killer is a killer Sloth. It’s funny for about 20 minutes with the Sloth puppet being quite hilarious and some of the uses of social media in the movie are actually quite funny. 

The problem here is the movie tries way too hard to be the next cult film, it wants to be that movie that gets websites such as Buzzfeed to write an article that says “Someone made a movie about a killer sloth 😂😂” that sort of stuff happens on it’s own and shouldn’t be forced or else you completely miss the point on the whole “killer object or bad killer animal” genre. 

As for the rest of the movie? There really isn’t a whole lot else to be said here, it goes exactly how you think it’s going to and the whole joke about a killer Sloth gets old as the movie goes on which considering the movie is 93 minutes long is not a good sign. The acting and writing as expected are terrible but that should really go without saying and is to be expected when it comes to movies like this. 

Who knows I could maybe be completely wrong, maybe a couple years from now Slotherhouse Will become the next cult hit, but for now it’s a very forgettable movie that tries way too hard to get a cult movie status. 

Slotherhouse is available on all VOD platforms.

2/10 F

Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part One is a masterfully crafted addition to the series.

Ethan Hunt and the IMF team must track down a terrifying new weapon that threatens all of humanity if it falls into the wrong hands. With control of the future and the fate of the world at stake, a deadly race around the globe begins. Confronted by a mysterious, all-powerful enemy, Ethan is forced to consider that nothing can matter more than the mission — not even the lives of those he cares about most.

Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part One is the seventh film of the Mission Impossible franchise and is a sequel to Mission Impossible Fallout. While Mission Impossible isn’t one of my all time favorite franchises, that doesn’t take away that these movies are always consistently really good or fantastic. Even the weakest of the series Mission Impossible II is still a whole lot of fun, Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part One continues the franchise with being another excellent addition to the series. 

Even though Dead Reckoning Part One is a half a story there is still a whole lot here to really appreciate. The performances much like in the other films are once again fantastic, Tom Cruise hits it out of the park as Ethan Hunt and much like in the other films shows that he knows how to entertain an audience, from doing absolutely insane stunts that you are jaw dropping to some excellent action scenes and some incredibly well executed line delivery Cruise really captures it all here. The rest of the cast are just as great as Cruise, Vanessa Kirby and Pom Klementieff are a lot of fun and are excellent new additions, there’s one scene with Carey Elwes in particular that’s one of the film’s highlights. 

As I said before the stunts are truly fantastic, not only are they jaw dropping but they have such a gigantic scale to them that really makes them even more special. When you combine that with excellent filmmaking, editing and sharp cinematography you get beautiful results. There’s truly so much craftsmanship in Dead Reckoning Part One to the point where you are just in awe, that’s a major element that blockbusters seem to miss…the awe factor a moment (or moments) in a film that make the viewer step back and just look at the screen in amazement. The Mission Impossible films accomplish that quite often but in Dead Reckoning Part One they turn it up to eleven and make sure that it’s known. 

The action scenes are also just as fantastic as they have always been in this franchise, it’s electrifying, focused and so well done. Once again it shows a huge amount of craftsmanship that went into the action scenes and really gives the film the classic action film feel that is truly exciting to have. The writing which includes themes such as fate and AI are absolutely well done and do something completely different with the topics. Finally the film has plenty of tense moments including the nuclear bomb scene that will absolutely bring you at the edge of your seat. 

Overall Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part One is a fantastic installment into the series, there’s so much to absolutely love about the film and it really gets you excited to see how the next film is going to be. 

Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part One is available on all VOD platforms. 

10/10 A+

Totally Killer a horror comedic surprise with so much heart and charm.

Thirty-five years after the shocking murders of three teens, an infamous killer returns on Halloween night to claim a fourth victim. When 17-year-old Jamie comes face-to-face with the masked maniac, she accidentally time-travels back to 1987. Forced to navigate the unfamiliar culture, Jamie teams up with her teenage mother to take down the psycho once and for all.

Totally Killer was definitely a nice surprise, when the trailer came out a lot of people were quick to compare it to The Final Girls (2015) which while yes they do share some similarities what they are going for is far different. 

Totally Killer is definitely the more gory film of the two and I definitely think goes for a much more comedic angle (although The Final Girls was a horror comedy as well.) With that said the cast here is quite fantastic particularly Kiernan Shipka and Olivia Holt who completely steal each scene they are in and really bring this fun and comedic atmosphere to the film. The rest of the cast also do a fantastic job at capturing the comedic energy the script requires. 

The comedic tone matched with some of the more dramatic moments is well done from director Nahnatchka Khan (Always Be My Maybe 2019) she’s able to make the film have a mostly Scream like comedic tone while also giving the more dramatic moments their own focus. She also puts her own spin as well, the film may borrow some elements from Happy Death Day, Back To The Future, Scream and The Final Girls. But Khan makes it her own and brings so much enjoyment to the film. 

The characters are solidly written and are quite fun to watch, there’s the occasional hiccup with some of the characters not being particularly interesting. But for the most part the characters are incredibly fun especially Jamie Hughes/Colette (played by Kiernan Shipka) who gets a lot of character development and actually gets some genuinely touching moments as well. The mother and daughter bond is truly fantastic and really moves the character of Pam Hughes (played by Julie Bowen)/Pam Miller (played by Olivia Holt) forward as well as bringing a lot of heart to the film. 

Overall Totally Killer is one of the bigger surprises of the year, it’s one that I can definitely see growing a much bigger audience in the near future. 

Totally Killer is available on Amazon Prime Video.

8/10 B+

V/H/S/85 is filled with many lacking executions.

A heart-pounding journey into the grim underbelly of the forgotten ’80s through five tales of terror on a taped-over made-for-TV documentary.

V/H/S/85 is the sixth installment in the V/H/S series, the V/H/S series as a whole has been quite interesting there’s only been one movie in the series before this one I can say I didn’t like which was V/H/S: Viral (the third movie in the series) which almost killed this series until Shudder revived in 2021 when they released V/H/S/94 and then released another movie the following year V/H/S/99 both of which I quite liked. I sadly can’t say the same for V/H/S/85.

Despite having a lot of notable directors and some names that fans of the horror genre may recognize, a lot of these segments seem to have the same problems. The main ones being taking way too long to get to the point and having great ideas but completely lacking execution. As always I’ll talk a little about each segment and then give my final thoughts. 

Starting with the frame narrative “Total Copy” from director David Buckner who directed Hellraiser (2022) and The Night House (2020). For a frame narrative in this series I have to say it actually did surprise me with the amount of story it actually had, Buckner much like in his previous films captures atmosphere tremendously and really does give the classic V/H/S feel while also adding in a lot of his own style. The ending is definitely questionable as it does cheapen what came before it but Buckner’s part in V/H/S/85 is by far one of the best. 

No Wake directed by Mike P. Nelson who directed Wrong Turn (2021) is the first segment and it’s not a bad one, the gore is pretty decent and there’s a decent amount of fun to be had here. It’s just not all that memorable, but much like Buckner’s opening this does capture the classic V/H/S atmosphere. There’s a segment later in the movie that continues the story but we will get to that.

God Of Death directed by Gigi Saul Guerrero who directed Bingo Hell (2021) and a segment from México Bárbaro (2014) and ABC’s Of Death 1/2 (2016) is up next and this one has a decent idea with the main premise being about the 1985 Mexico City earthquake which strikes during a broadcast. I have to say I actually liked this one, the ending does leave a bit more to be desired as it does come off like it was rushed a bit. But with the solid acting and the atmosphere that captures the feeling of being caught in an earthquake this one manages to standout among the crowd. 

TKNGOD directed by Natasha Kermani who directed Lucky (2020) is up next. This one’s whole idea is about early VR representing performance art because according to the Ada Lovelace (the main character of the segment) the world has killed God and replaced him with the “God Of Technology) she then shows a a video demonstration of the virtual reality device. It’s a neat idea but very poorly executed. There really isn’t a story it’s more of Ada Lovelace (the main character) talking, doing a bunch of acts until the segment ends. It ends exactly how you think it’s going to, it’s a bit of a shame because there was definitely potential here. 

Ambrosia directed by Mike P. Nelson is next and is the continuation of No Wake, Ambrosia has a very solid start that’s quite neat. I will say however this segment had the exact opposite problem than what TKNGOD had. Where as TKNGOD went on for way too long, Ambrosia ends very abruptly it’s a bit puzzling as to why that is. The pacing ultimately feels like a flash before the eyes and does not give the viewer enough time to digest what exactly happened or what’s currently going on. 

The final segment is DreamKill directed by Scott Derrickson who directed The Black Phone (2022), Doctor Strange (2016), Sinister (2012) and a few others. This was the one I was most excited for and sadly this was a huge disappointment. I absolutely get what Derrickson was going for here, a home invasion from the POV of the killer that goes way further than your average home invasion in terms of story. However it’s told with very poor pacing that quickly loses the viewer’s interest. The acting is at least decent enough and there’s a few moments here that are well done, but it’s not nearly enough to save the segment from it’s painful length. 

Overall V/H/S/85 is disappointing, it’s easily the weakest of the Shudder era V/H/S movies. There’s a lot of great ideas here but not enough payoff and good execution. There’s going to be another V/H/S film next year so let’s hope that one is an improvement.

V/H/S/85 is available on Shudder 

5/10 C

The Equalizer 3 is a decent conclusion to the trilogy.

Since giving up his life as a government assassin, Robert McCall finds solace in serving justice on behalf of the oppressed. Now living in Southern Italy, he soon discovers his new friends are under the control of local crime bosses. As events turn deadly, McCall becomes their protector by taking on the mafia.

The Equalizer 3 is the final installment of The Equalizer trilogy. The Equalizer films are mostly known for Denzel Washington giving a fantastic performance in each movie and some quite brutal kills. The first film was quite great while the second movie was forgettable and really did not do a whole lot in terms of moving the series forward. 

The Equalizer 3 is more or less the same thing as the previous two movies, it’s definitely an improvement over the last movie but isn’t as good as the first. Once again Denzel Washington as Robert McCall is fantastic, he completely hits out of the park and puts a satisfying conclusion to the character. Dakota Fanning and the rest of the cast are also pretty solid here although Washington is the clear standout. 

The action scenes are quite great, although most of the action scenes are at the beginning and the final act of the film. The story combined with the scenery (this time taking place in Italy) helps the movie run at a decent pace to make sure not to make the viewer lose interest from the story. With that being said the middle does suffer from being a bit too familiar but the way director Antoine Fuqua wraps up the story and uses his style that fans of Fuqua will immediately notice helps give the movie the extra push it needs. 

Although the villains lack depth and aren’t particularly interesting, the cinematography combined with the action scenes and scenery is just wonderful to look at and has a surprising amount of detail. The movie itself almost feels like part slasher film and it works quite well. 

The Equalizer 3 isn’t going to break any new ground, but if you are fan of the previous two movies you are definitely going to like this one.

The Equalizer 3 is available on VOD Platforms. 

6/10 C+