Nobody Sleeps In The Woods Tonight and Holidate (2020)

A group of technology-dependent teenagers goes to – offline camp. Common hiking in the woods without access to smartphones will not end, however, as planned by the organizers.

I thought I would never here the word “gay” be used as an insult in a film in 2020 but here we are I guess. The newest Netflix horror movie Nobody Sleeps In The Woods Tonight is the most basic slasher movie, it doesn’t do anything new or interesting. It just copies off of what slasher films have done such as Friday The 13th and Wrong Turn, there is some great kills with some surprisingly great gore. But outside of that this is very bare bones. If you go into this movie only looking for a slasher film to watch then you might enjoy this one. However what really hurts this movie is the terrible writing, it attempts to be meta but completely fails. The movie also tries to throw in some humor that feels very dated or is just not funny at the slightest. Anyone looking for anything new or interesting in the slasher genre might want to sit this one out.

4/10 D+

Sloane and Jackson hate being single on holidays where they face constant judgment from their meddling families. So, when these two strangers meet, they pledge to be each other’s “holidate” for every festive occasion in the year ahead.

One particular genre of Netflix Original movies I really don’t like are the Holiday/Christmas ones. They are all almost the exact same thing, almost all of them are terrible and it feels like they are coming out earlier and earlier each year. To be absolutely fair Holidate isn’t that bad but that’s mostly due to Emma Roberts who is by far the best thing this movie has going for it. The writing is as predictable as you would expect, the story has been done several times before. Holidate does have some cute moments that do work thanks to some character development, but that there really is not that much else too Holidate. It’s harmless enough and definitely one of the better Netflix Holiday/Christmas movies but that’s not saying a whole lot.

5/10 C

On The Rocks (2020)

New York author and married mother-of-two Laura has become suspicious that her career-driven husband may be having an affair with a coworker, a speculation encouraged by her caddish, bon vivant father.

While On The Rocks might not be as good as some of Sofia Coppola’s other films such as Lost In Translation or The Beguiled it is still a fantastic film. First off Marlon Waynes gives his best performance in a VERY long time, this is the Marlon Waynes I missed. He truly does a very good job in his role, Rashida Jones and Bill Murray both do an excellent job in their roles as well. They give very raw and natural performances, the writing is pretty well done. It has this natural feel to it which comes off as if you are having an actual conversation with somebody it does add quite a bit to the film. The film itself is absolutely beautiful the filming is really well done especially when combined with the setting, it gives this relaxing type feel which I definitely feel fits the movie well. It’s such a relaxing type movie with a very smooth atmosphere that really stands out! Overall On The Rocks is a very strong addition to Sofia Coopla’s directing career, it’s beautiful, raw, natural and takes a simple story and makes it interesting! Definitely recommended!!

9/10 A

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm (2020)

Released from prison for bringing shame to his country, Kazakh funnyman Borat risks life and limb when he returns to America with his 15-year-old daughter.

An idea of Borat 2 was always a topic of discussion when it comes to “movie sequels that are bound to happen” it was just a matter of WHEN it would happen. Well given how unpredictable 2020 has been Borat 2 finally became a real thing, it just sort of came out of nowhere too which I do think this helps the movie in the long run. Anyway the film itself is quite hilarious I really haven’t laughed from a film that was a flat out comedy in a good while, Sacha Baron Cohen does a really good job as Borat once again and truly embodies the character. It reminds the viewer of why the first film worked so well, the second film works just as well. Sure there are some differences this movie has more of a plot rather than a Jackass type of style (although there’s plenty of those in the film too) but it really works due to the creativity. It isn’t just one of the same jokes over and over again they manage to tell the jokes in interesting and hilarious ways, Maria Bakalova is definitely going to be a in a lot more roles she was fantastic in her role and was also pretty hilarious! She really went all out in her role and truly put a lot into her character. What I found to be really great about all of this was the movie knew when to balance the jokes and the timing of the jokes, often times jokes in movies tend to go on for way too long or way too short giving the audience barely enough time to digest the joke. However in this movie it balances that out the jokes don’t go on for a long time but give the audience enough time to react and digest the joke in question, as I said before this is something that is hardly seen in a lot of comedies nowadays so it’s very refreshing to see! Overall Borat Subsequent Moviefilm is a very strong sequel, as far as which one is better that is going to be entirely up to the viewer, both films do a few things differently so it’s going to depend on what the viewer prefers. I highly recommend giving this one a watch!!

9/10 A

Bad Hair (2020)

In 1989 an ambitious young woman gets a weave in order to succeed in the image-obsessed world of music television. However, her flourishing career may come at a great cost when she realizes that her new hair may have a mind of its own.

Bad Hair is definitely a strange one, it’s really hard to makeout if I actually liked it or not. On one hand it does a few things pretty okay, such as some of the acting mostly due to Elle Lorraine. There’s the social commentary that I actually thought was better than the actual horror elements and the rest of the movie. Then on the other hand there’s a lot of moments that have a lot of mixed messages and the tone just sort of shifts all over the place, if Bad Hair were just some very silly B movie It would be a lot easier for the movie to get away with the tone. Because it’s just inconsistent there are times the movie wants to be taken seriously which is fine, then right after that there’s these very goofy moments that feel way too silly. Then there’s the ending that just kind of exists, it really does not really do much for the movie at all. I will say however that at least the movie is somewhat fun, when it’s not taking itself too seriously it’s actually fairly decent. The problem is that’s very far and few in between, as I said I’m stumped on this one. This is definitely not something you must see but if you are interested you could definitely check it out and see if you like it.

5/10 C

The Witches (2020)

Based on Roald Dahl’s 1983 classic book ‘The Witches’, the story tells the scary, funny and imaginative tale of a seven year old boy who has a run in with some real life witches!

The Witches did not need another remake, the first adaption was solid enough and got the job done…why do another one? This version of The Witches suffers from multiple problems, Anne Hathaway and Octavia Spencer do the best they can with a very poor script, some of the visuals and the makeup are kinda solid as well. But that’s seriously where it ends for me, acting wise everyone else felt way too wooden. Heck at times Octavia Spencer fell in wooden territory, the writing was just not engaging, a lot of it was typical family movie tropes that really fail to live up to the original adaption, the biggest problem this movie has is it’s too forgettable. It’s one of those movies where you watch it and then two hours later you forget 70% of what happened, outside of Anne Hathaway it really doesn’t do anything that’s going to make the viewer remember it. Chris Rock’s narration does not work at all, it feels way too out of place and does not fit the atmosphere of the actual story. A matter of fact the atmosphere of the movie is a big issue, it has no idea what it wants to be. Does it want to take itself seriously? Does it want to be some wacky family movie? It switches constantly back in forth between many different type of atmospheres, overall The Witches (2020) is completely unnecessary this is going to be one of those many cases where people are going to remember the original adaption and forget the new one as it does almost nothing to make itself standout.

4/10 D+

Love And Monsters and The Secrets We Keep (2020)

In a monster-infested world, Joel (Dylan O’Brien) learns his girlfriend is just 80 miles away. To make the dangerous journey, Joel discovers his inner hero to be with the girl of his dreams.

I had little to no expectations with Love and Monsters, it looked like a Zombieland clone, however the movie is actually not that. Sure Love and Monsters does share some similarities as Zombieland but director Michael Matthews is able to bring a lot of different elements to the table. First off the film itself has to be the sweetest apocalypse movie I’ve seen, underneath all the monsters and the villains you have Dylan O’Brian and Jessica Henwick’s chemistry which is just beautiful to watch. You actually root for both these characters and care about their relationship, so to combine a very cute chemistry in a monster apocalypse movie was really clever. The acting is pretty strong, Dylan O’Brian and Jessica Henwick are both fantastic and give tons of memorable moments, the writing is cleverly written with character moments and humor both combined it turns out to be a interesting little movie. The filming is pretty well done and really does the location of the film justice, the special effects and the monsters I have to say are pretty solid. That was one of my main concerns going into this movie but I thought they were done pretty well. I feel like what I like most about the film is it feels quick and goes straight to the point. It knows what it wants to be and what it’s set out to do. Be a quick monster apocalypse film that has some similarities to some other movies but keep things fresh as well. I definitely recommend giving Love and Monsters a watch! One of the biggest surprises of the year.

8/10 B+

In post-WWII America, a woman, rebuilding her life in the suburbs with her husband, kidnaps her neighbor and seeks vengeance for the heinous war crimes she believes he committed against her.

The Secrets We Keep is basically Roman Polanski’s Death and The Maiden, only that this movie is nowhere near as good. I thought The Secretes We Keep started off interesting and had some good ideas, however it quickly showed that this movie is just a lifeless copy of Death and The Maiden, while the acting was very decent especially from Noomi Rapace. It isn’t enough to make any of the performances believable, it all just feels way too middle of the road and very below average. The writing isn’t really great at all, it has it’s moments but those are far and few in between.. I really don’t have anything else to say, if it sounds interesting to you check it out I guess. Otherwise don’t bother.

5/10 C

The Forty-Year-Old-Version (2020)

Radha is a down-on-her-luck NY playwright, who is desperate for a breakthrough before 40. Reinventing herself as rapper RadhaMUSPrime, she vacillates between the worlds of Hip Hop and theater in order to find her true voice.

Radha Blank is a name I strongly hope I hear more in years to come because what she delivered is by far one of the best films of the year and one of the best Netflix original films. It’s worth noting that Radha Blank directed, wrote, is one of the producers AND she is the leading role in this film. The Forty-Year-Old-Version shows a woman going through so much to achieve her dream of becoming a rapper at the age of 40, she also tries to find her voice and who she is. It’s fascinating film that really touches the viewer and gives one of the most realistic performances of the year, Radha Blank’s performance is fantastic it leaves so many emotions on the viewer and feels very inspiring as well. The writing also helps by building up to several incredible moments in the film and delivers on every single level, the choice of having the film entirely in black and white was a very smart choice. It not only gives this movie a more personal feeling but it feels like you are looking into Radha Blank’s life and experience, you feel invested and root for her, it’s incredible how much a simple choice of making your film black and white can really do. Radha Blank’s chemistry between everyone else is incredible especially with Archie played by Peter Y. Kim, the two truly have a fantastic chemistry that feels like a very real friendship that you truly admire. The writing is also very raw as I said before it brings many beautiful moments that feel impactful and inspiring, overall The Forty-Year-Old-Version is a beautiful film that I truly hope gets nominated when it comes to for award nominations, I also really can’t wait to see what Radha Blank does next! I highly recommend watching this film as soon as possible because this is one you will definitely want to watch!

10/10 A+

The War With Grandpa (2020)

Upset that he has to share the room he loves with his grandfather, Peter decides to declare war in an attempt to get it back.

After being delayed several times since early 2018 Tim Hill’s The War With Grandpa finally get’s released…and it’s just another ordinary family movie. The War With Grandpa does not have a whole lot in it, it’s based off a of book of the same name (I haven’t read it since I was a kid) I feel the major problem with this movie is it does nothing to differentiate itself from a lot of other family movies. Most of the jokes consits of early 2000s family movie humor you know like falling over, being sarcastic to a family member in a very unfunny way, someone’s junk is accidentally shown and much more. That’s pretty much the entire movie I just saved you 94 minutes, Robert De Niro is the only real positive here. He tries his best with a very unfunny script and not a whole lot to work with, I will say there are some charming moments between the two characters Ed and Peter. But with every few charming moments comes some very unfunny slapstick that makes you roll you eyes, the movie is at it’s best when it just has a few of the characters interacting with each other like normal people. One thing this movie really could have benefited from was a different director Tim Hill directed Garfield Tale Of Two Kitties, Alvin and The Chipmunks, Hop, the Grumpy Cat Christmas movie and a few others. I’ll give Hill this..as far as direction this by far the best he’s done in awhile. But overall The War With Grandpa is harmless enough it’s just not a good movie and something I don’t recommend at all.

4/10 D+

Hubie Halloween and The Mortuary Collection (2020)

Despite his devotion to his hometown of Salem (and its Halloween celebration), Hubie Dubois is a figure of mockery for kids and adults alike. But this year, something is going bump in the night, and it’s up to Hubie to save Halloween.

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Believe it or not I had a very hard time deciding what rating to give Hubie Halloween, I usually rip almost any Happy Madison movie to shreds due to how horrendous they are. With this movie however…I didn’t think it was quite as bad as a lot of the others? The only two things I found absolutely horrendous were the jokes and Adam Sandler himself with that terrible voice where you genuinely can’t understand what he’s saying unless you put on subtitles. A lot of it seemed like everyone involved had fun being in the movie, there was some genuine joy between everyone involved this time around. The Cameron Boyce tribute at the end also shows how an awesome person Adam Sandler really is. I will admit there were a few jokes that worked but for the most part they didn’t land. The weird thing is the acting was honestly not that terrible, I mean yes it most certainly wasn’t good but I couldn’t help but notice that it was actually better than a lot of other Happy Madison movies especially a certain one that came out earlier this year cough Wrong Missy cough I honestly don’t have anything else to comment on, as I said as far as Happy Madison movies go this one is definitely one of the better ones, would I recommend it? Absolutely not but there has definitely been worse to come out of this year.

4/10 D+

On the cusp of retirement, an eccentric mortician recounts several of the strangest stories he’s encountered in his long career, but things take a turn for the phantasmagorical when he learns that the final story – is his own.

Really got to give credit where credit is due Shudder has really picked up it’s lineup of horror movies that lead up to Halloween. It started off on the wrong foot with Spiral and Verotika but picked up with Scare Me, The Cleansing Hour and now this movie. The Mortuary Collection is also a breath of fresh air when it comes to anthology films, I recently reviewed Books Of Blood and Tales From The Hood 3 saying they both really did not offer much at all, with this movie however the segments are all pretty creative. I really appreciated the use of practical effects it added a lot to the film and actually made the segments more interesting and fun. The acting does have it’s bad moments but for the most part it’s pretty good, the writing is definitely humorous at times and is quite interesting with all the ideas shown in the film. It’s very refreshing to see an actually really strong horror anthology film, so if your a fan of the genre I definitely recommend giving this a go!

7/10 B

A Babysitter’s Guide To Monster Hunting (2020)

A babysitter embarks on a mission to save a child who’s been abducted by monsters.

How was I not informed that this movie was directed by the same director who did Freddy’s Dead The Final Nightmare? All joking aside I’m actually surprised this didn’t turn out as bad as it could have been, A Babysitter’s Guide To Monster Hunting is a movie that’s directly aimed for a younger audience and the movie really doesn’t hide that either. For what it is the movie is not terrible, Tamara Smart is actually pretty okay in the leading role it’s just she really does not have much to work with. It’s very simplistic main character role, the same can be said for Oona Laurence she’s fine enough in her role but she really does not have a whole lot to work with. There are moments where I actually thought the direction wasn’t too bad, Rachel Talalay actually builds an actual good chemistry between Kelly and Liz the two main characters. It also plays out exactly how you think it’s going to play out, it’s a very Disney channel feel type of movie that somehow became a Netflix Original. Outside of that there really is not much else to this movie, if you have kids and are looking for something new to watch this is definitely harmless enough. As for everyone else I don’t really recommend it. But I’ll give credit where credit is due Rachel Talalay has certainly gotten a lot better since Freddy is Dead The Final Nightmare.

5/10 C