Quasi is a complete and total mess.

A hapless hunchback yearns for love, but finds himself in the middle of a deadly feud between the Pope and the King of France when they each order the misfit to kill the other.

Quasi is a satirical comedy based on the 1831 novel The Hunchback Of Notre Dame and wow this is horrible.

First off the movie is clearly trying to be Monty Python and the Holy Grail but one of the main things this movie forgot to do that made Monty Python so great was you know actually be funny? Because right from the beginning the humor is dreadful and never improves as the movie goes on, what you are going to get is a bunch of sex jokes, disabled jabs, a bunch of horrible accents, poop jokes and even some modern jokes despite taking place in a period setting the main one being a selfie joke.

The acting is horrible and quite honestly some of the worst to come out of this year, Adrianne Palicki is definitely the only one who seems to be trying to work with what she’s given but even then it’s not enough to save this movie. Steve Lemme and Jay Chandrasekhar in particular are dreadful, there is absolutely no comedic timing with them combine that with the material they are given it just leads to an overall disaster.

The writing is horrendous and it’s by far the biggest problem with this movie, a lot of it heavily relies on funny jokes or trying to be completely bizarre for the sake of being bizarre and not in a good way. The weird amount of incest humor towards the end is also just disgusting as well, heck there’s even a drawn out incestuous sex scene that’s supposed to be this one giant joke but completely misses in every single way possible.

Overall Quasi is incredibly unfunny, poorly acted and an absolute pain to sit through. This is one I definitely recommend to skip.

Quasi is available on Hulu.

1/10 F

The Super Mario Bros. Movie is a huge celebration of the source material.

The story of The Super Mario Bros. on their journey through the Mushroom Kingdom.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie was one of my most anticipated films of 2023, I’ve been waiting for another attempt at a Mario movie for the longest time. While I have grown to enjoy the Super Mario Bros Movie from 1993 it is very far from the source material and I definitely thought that another attempt should happen.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie is more than just following the source material, it takes the material and does the absolute most it can with it in 92 minutes. I will admit that the plot is paper thin and there are moments where the movie most definitely could have done a lot more with, however that does not stop this movie from being a complete a total blast.

The voice cast really does a fantastic job of bringing these characters together, Chris Pratt does a pretty solid job as Mario, Charlie Day is also really solid as Luigi, Jack Black as Bowser is incredibly entertaining and really captures the character of Bowser surprisingly really well. There’s been instances where Bowser in the games has had a very comedic side (Paper Mario series) and that really shows here so I really have to give credit where credit is due. Keegan-Michael Key as Toad is a lot of fun as well, finally there’s Anya Taylor-Joy as Princess Peach who absolutely nails the character. I especially enjoyed what the film did with Peach, despite the common belief that Princess Peach is always captured (I mean she does get captured in a lot of games but she’s been playable in quite a few of them over the years) and the film really balances that out quite well.

I didn’t particularly care for Seth Rogen as Donkey Kong or Fred Armisen as Funky Kong, while I did enjoy seeing the characters on screen the performances were just not very good and left a lot more to be desired. The animation was absolutely stunning, it does an incredible job of building the Mushroom Kingdom as a world and really leads to some really striking moments that leave you in a state of wonder. There’s so much attention to detail that really gives the viewer so much to look at and is quite pleasing to see.

The little easter eggs are wonderful and awhile I am usually against films putting so many easter eggs into a film to the point where it takes away from the story that doesn’t happen here luckily. While there are a lot of easter eggs it actually does make a lot of sense, quite a few of the games do a similar thing where they do put a lot of easter eggs throughout the game. So in a way it did feel like the viewer was in one of the video games, whether that was intentional or not it was an interesting way to approach it.

If you are a fan of Mario you absolutely know what to expect from this film, even if you are just a casual Mario player I still recommend giving this a shot, it’s a wonderfully done film that had so much effort put into it that is such an exciting film to watch.

The Super Mario Bros. Movie is available in theaters.

8/10 B+

Rye Lane is a witty and beautiful romantic film about two strangers.

Following two youngsters reeling from bad breakups who connect over a particularly eventful day in South London.

One major thing I love about film is every once in awhile you get that film that is so unexpectedly incredible and comes out of thin air…Rye Lane is definitely an example of that.

For starters David Jonsson and Vivian Oparah are both incredible as the leads, the chemistry between the two is compelling and very raw. The conversations between the two is truly sweet, romantic and brings the viewer into their conversation. When you combine that with the camera movement and the angles the film uses you get a personal type feel while also feeling invited to the conversations the two have.

The blend of humor, romance, heartwarming moments and a bit of drama is all incredibly well balanced that really paints a beautiful story that’s straightforward but at the same time very compelling, Rye Lane definitely has some elements from Before Sunrise and the other two movies of the trilogy. But the film makes them it’s own by presenting tons of witty dialogue and combining that with character driven moments that ask a lot of questions about ourselves and love.

Rye Lane is such an engaging film that really hits you in the right spots when it discusses love, it puts the theme of love in the spotlight and shows how two strangers can connect and really fall for each other. The film itself is handled with so much care and heart that you can’t help but smile, it’s truly a beautiful film that I absolutely recommend giving a watch.

Rye Lane is available on Hulu.

9/10 A

Mafia Mamma has a solid cast but lacking execution.

An American mom inherits her grandfather’s mafia empire in Italy. Guided by the firm’s consigliere, she hilariously defies everyone’s expectations as the new head of the family business.

Mafia Mamma was the Regal Mystery Movie on April 3rd and well it wasn’t good.

Mafia Mamma does have it’s positives the main one being Toni Collette who is having the time of her life while on screen, she completely steals the show and has such fantastic screen presence. Her chemistry with the rest of the cast is quite good as well, Monica Bellucci is pretty solid as well and much like Collette is a lot of fun.

There’s definitely some decent shots here that are pretty neat mainly due to the location being in Rome, Italy. The movie does a surprisingly decent job using the location at times and compliments the movie well enough, the humor isn’t completely a dud as there are some decent jokes here and there that did get some laughs out of me.

Having all that said the rest of the movie acts like the equivalent of a Netflix comedy just with a higher budget, a lot of the jokes are a miss (they make Godfather jokes too many times) and the movie strangely gets brutal with violence at some parts. There’s this one scene in particular that goes on for far too long and gets into the territory of being over the top but in a bad way with it’s violence.

The final act of the movie tries to be this action type of movie but falls flat mainly due to the camerawork and being overall a bit on the forgettable side, it’s a bit of a shame because Mafia Mamma had the right ingredients to be quite campy and a lot of fun. While it’s not horrendous it is very forgettable.

Mafia Mamma releases in theaters April 14th.

4/10 D+

Mummies is a forgettable time

Three mummies leave their underground secret city in ancient Egypt and end up in present-day London to search for a ring that was stolen by a greedy archaeologist. However, their mission might prove to be a little difficult.

Mummies has Nickleback’s song Far Away as the credits song..yeah I got nothing to start with for this one to be quite honest.

Mummies is not offensive but the movie really lacks charm and creativity, the characters are about as well written as a piece of cardboard. The jokes are the usual type of humor that constantly pops up in some of these animated movies.

The world itself in the movie is poorly explored and really doesn’t lead into anything memorable at all, the voice acting I guess is fine enough the voice cast get the job done but none of it is very noteworthy or memorable.

Honestly the main problem with Mummies is that it’s not memorable at all, there’s nothing here that brings the viewer into the movie or there isn’t anything that the viewer leave remembering the movie. This is the sort of movie you have on in the background and just completely ignore it.

Mummies releases on VOD Platforms April 7th.

2/10 F

Followers is a movie not worth following

Four very different students move into a house with all the usual social, financial and sexual anxieties that come with this exciting experience. They soon realize they are sharing their flat with a vengeful ghost from the 1990s called Dawn. Dawn wins them millions of followers on social media. The big-money sponsorship deals soon follow and greed becomes more powerful than fear. But the media attention awakens an old evil far more deadly than any ghost and the students must face the horrific consequences of their actions.

Social Media based horror/thriller films is a sub genre that I enjoy quite a lot, however there comes a time where some of these movies have very little to offer and recycle ideas from previous movies. That’s unfortunately what Followers does.

Followers can be boiled down to “man is obsessed with earning followers so he does whatever he can to get a following” this was done far better in Spree (2021) and Deadstream (2022), I’ll give the movie credit for some decent shots every once and awhile but everything else here is just horrible.

The acting combined with the writing is dull and has very little going on, it’s obvious this movie wanted to be some sort of social satire that makes fun of millennials and the whole idea of social media popularity. Mainly due to the characters being written as celebrity cliches and ignorant, which I guess the movie does that fine enough. The problem is during the second half when it tries to take itself serious and be a full on horror movie.

None of the horror elements work at all..The jumpscares are very tiring, there’s no atmosphere and tension plus the movie throws in a few twists that make very little sense at all.

if you want social media based horror movie that has very similar ideas and is executed far better I recommend Spree (2020) or Deadstream (2021).

Followers is available on all VOD platforms.

2/10 F

Prom Pact is a surprisingly charming high school movie.

It is the height of prom season, but high school senior Mandy Yang has her sights set on a singular goal: attending Harvard. When she finds out she has been deferred, she is determined to do whatever she can to get herself off the waitlist, even if that means asking the one person who represents everything she abhors, all-star jock Graham Lansing, whose father is a powerful senator and Harvard alum.

Every once and awhile you get a Disney+ Original movie that doesn’t completely feel like Disney Channel original movie in disguise, Prom Pact definitely surprised me for this particular reason, it definitely seemed like it was going to be yet another high school movie with Disney paint over it.

While yes Prom Pact does have the usual elements that a lot of high school movies have, there is something here that a lot of these movies often miss…charm, there was clearly a lot of love put into the movie especially with the cast. Peyton Elizabeth Lee and Milo Manheim are both fantastic and give genuinely charming performances that the viewer can easily connect with, even some of the side characters are great Margaret Cho does a pretty good job with some decent comedic timing.

The story itself as I said before is very much in line with a lot of other high school movies, but luckily it is entertaining the whole way through. If you have seen one high school movie you probably know what to expect, but as I said before the charm is what makes this one standout. The message of the movie is great and the execution on sharing that message is pretty well done, the writing has it’s hiccups but for the most part they really kept some of the interactions as natural as possible.

Overall Prom Pact is by far one of the better Disney+ originals and is even something I would recommend checking out.

Prom Pact is available on Disney+

7/10 B

Murder Mystery 2 is a small step up from it’s predecessor.

Now private detectives launching their own agency, Nick and Audrey Spitz land at the centre of an international investigation when a friend is abducted.

Murder Mystery 2 is a sequel to Murder Mystery which came out in 2019, a movie which I wasn’t a huge fan of. While I found the chemistry between Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston to be charming and it had some comedic moments, outside of that it was a very bland Netflix comedy. Murder Mystery 2 I actually found to be a step up from the first movie but that doesn’t really mean much when the movie itself suffers similar problems that the first one faced.

Once again the chemistry between Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston is really great, they definitely get a lot more room to tell more jokes and they definitely take advantage of that well. While not all of the jokes land there’s a decent amount of them that actually work well, the acting was decent enough and there were a few action scenes that combined comedy and action actually pretty well.

The main issue comes from the mystery itself, unfortunately it’s not very engaging and ultimately doesn’t make a whole lot of sense when you think about it for more than a minute. A lot of the side characters are just there to serve as suspects and have no real character to them at all, Murder Mystery 2 is also one of those sequels where it’s very similar to it’s predecessor in almost every single way and does very little to change the formula.

Murder Mystery 2 is available on Netflix.

5/10 C

God’s Time is fast paced and oozing with style.

Two best friends race against time to stop the woman they’re both in love with from committing murder.

God’s Time has been compared to Good Time directed by the Safdie Brothers and it’s very easy to see why, it uses very similar styles, editing and such to really drive the narrative home. But God’s Time takes those elements and makes them it’s own.

As said before the film has so much style to it, it’s quick and sharp plus has this chaotic energy to it that really brings the viewer into the whole experience. The plot might seem straightforward at first but it quickly evolves into madness and is quite effective at doing so, the performances combined with the direction are a lot of fun and really get the viewer energized as well.

The main flaws mostly comes in with characterization and the ending (kind of), the characters don’t get as much development as they needed. There’s just enough for the viewer to care for them, but the movie does hold back on development that could have been even better. The ending isn’t necessarily bad it’s more that it was a bit lacking, the movie just sort of ends after awhile and leaves you with a “wait that’s it?” moment.

That isn’t enough to stop God’s Time from being a solid film that has lot of creative ideas that for the most part are executed really well!

God’s Time is available on all VOD platforms.

8/10 B+

Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre is a mixed bag with decent action.

Elite spy Orson Fortune must track down and stop the sale of a deadly new weapons technology wielded by billionaire arms broker Greg Simmonds. Reluctantly teamed up with some of the world’s best operatives, Fortune and his crew recruit Hollywood’s biggest movie star, Danny Francesco, to help them on their globe-trotting mission to save the world.

Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre certainly does in fact exist that’s for sure, to cut the movie’s long history of just not coming out short. The movie was delayed a few times January 2022 and March 2022 to be exact, it was pulled due to featuring gangsters of Ukrainian nationality as the main antagonist. Which you could probably figure out was because of the war in Ukraine sparked global outrage, the film producers thought it would inappropriate so they pulled it.

As for the movie itself, what exactly is there to say? While the cast is actually pretty good particularly Aubrey Plaza, Cary Elwes (always great to see him) and Jason Statham. Plus I do think there’s some decently fun action scenes here, there’s ultimately very little this movie does better than a lot of other movies in the same exact same genre.

Guy Richie does put in his traditional elements he uses in his action films and they actually work here, some fast paced action, some decently put together moments that really engage the viewer and bring you close to the action. It’s all there and works pretty well, it’s just been done far better in other places heck some of Guy Richie’s own films have the exact same sort of elements and do them a lot better (The Man from U.N.C.L.E and The Gentlemen)

Having that said the movie is decently made and does have it’s fair share of fun moments that can be very fun, it’s definitely not one of Guy Richie’s absolute best but it’s not terrible either.

Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre is available in theaters.

5/10 C