Quick Review: Slayers (2022)

Vampire slayer Elliot Jones made it his life’s mission to take revenge on the bloodsuckers who killed his teenage daughter. After years of tracking them, he’s finally reached their secret and hidden base. However, to get to them, he’ll need help from a motley crew of social media superstars who’ve been invited to party at a compound that’s also a lair for ancient vampires.

Slayers is what happens when you have no idea what you want your movie to be so you throw whatever you can at the wall and none of it sticks. Thomas Jane and Abigail Breslin are tolerable, but the Jane’s voice over narration is nothing but filled with exposition or not relevant information that the viewer isn’t going to need. Way too much stock footage of random clips from TV or the internet and it’s a piss poor attempt of combining the vampire and social media horror subgenres, it doesn’t help that this doesn’t feel like a vampire movie, I wouldn’t mind that so much if it wasn’t done in such uncreative ways, lastly there’s the “lol random” type of humor that hasn’t been funny in a movie since forever. Terrible movie all around and one to completely avoid.

Slayers is available on all VOD platforms.

1/10 F

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